


wasteland, baby!

by aubrey_writes



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Inspired by a Hozier Song, M/M, Slow Burn, Title from a Hozier Song, Vietnam War
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 06:10:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20523248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aubrey_writes/pseuds/aubrey_writes
Summary: klaus is thrown into the end of the world, and somehow, he isn't even really mad about itorthe parts in vietnam that we want an entire show about





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Thank you so much for reading. This fic is a long time coming, and isn't anywhere near finished, but I've been talking about it for so long I wanted to at least start posting. It's very near and dear to my heart, as are these characters. I hope you love the story and my version of Dave and Klaus as much as I do. I hope to post on a semi-regular schedule, but there's nothing regular about my life, so we'll see if that happens. For at least the first three chapters I should post on a weekly basis. Besides that, god knows. Anyway, thanks for reading and if you got this far, I love you.

It wasn’t the end of the world, but it may as well have been.  


The sky fell down on them every single night. It wasn’t falling with the intent of killing them, but that didn’t make it any less menacing. The ground shook as the world lit up, daylight painted white across the impossible darkness that was Vietnam. At first, it was terrifying. Of course it was. Klaus went from the mindless bustle of New York City to absolute and utter chaos. Eventually, he learned to sleep through it. One could equate it to the distant rumble of thunder, if they really wanted to. The gunfire wasn’t quite as forgiving, however. It was more like the Fourth of July when that happened, loud and random popping that was as terrifying as it was stunning. It wasn’t as reliable as the bombings, either. Every night you could count on your bed trembling, and every night you could force yourself to ignore it.  


So it was easy to equate it to the end of the world, even if it was only happening in a very small portion of Asia, on a relatively reliable schedule.  


And yet, even as the sky fell down every night, Klaus fell maddeningly in love with David Katz.  


He couldn’t really help himself, honestly. The man who showed him unyielding kindness in his first day in the shit dug his way into his heart a lot faster than he could have ever anticipated. Klaus knew he was soft, but really, Dave did something to him that he had never experienced with anyone else. He gave him his hand, told him his name, and guaranteed that Klaus would spend the end of the world stuck by his side.  


There were specific moments that solidified that decision, of course. Although his love for Dave often felt like a wave crashing down on him, in reality, it wasn’t as sudden. It was a series of conscious decisions they both made, slowly and steadily towards each other, until finally they met in the middle, in a place that neither of them would ever want to walk away from.  


The first was the moment that he landed there. There were other problems that should have been resolved, like the fact that he was suddenly thrust into the middle of the Vietnam War, but Klaus really only remembered two things about that night. The first was complete and utter confusion. He was confused about where he was, what happened to get him out of that motel room, what that briefcase actually was, and what the hell was going on, really just in general. People threw clothes at him to put on, he was shuffled out of a tent and into the fray, he was loaded onto a bus to take him somewhere he had never been before, and even though he had no idea why this was happening, he obeyed anyway.  


Then there was that much more important thing that stood out to him that night. It was that man, striking through the chaos. He was chiseled, and beautiful, and somehow Klaus had landed literally at his feet. That couldn’t have been a coincidence, and for some reason, Klaus latched onto that hope as hard as he could.  
There was a part of him that knew he could have gone home if he wanted to. He rationalized that if he had gotten there through opening the briefcase, he could get sent home by opening it again. It was what he had hoped, at least. Even still, he didn’t want to really risk that theory. Not yet, at least, in a bus full of people who looked to be soldiers, people who probably didn’t need to know that time travel was apparently a thing that could be accomplished rather easily, by the most clueless of people. So instead, he decided to stay quiet, sitting by himself, with his briefcase neatly tucked up underneath his feet.  


“Are you new to country?”  


“Oh? Uh, yeah,” Klaus stuttered out, meeting those same bright eyes that he had been met with the moment he had landed here, the one thing that had cut through the haze of confusion.  


“I know, shit’s crazy. You’ll adjust,” his voice was warm, and kind, and forgiving, like a heavy blanket. Klaus couldn’t remember the last time that he had felt anything resembling that. “I’m Dave.”  


He practically scrambled to shake his hand. “Klaus.”  


“It’s nice to meet you, Klaus. If you need anything, you can just ask me,” Dave continued, giving him a smile that made his insides flutter, that made him kick the briefcase even further under his seat -- the first of many decisions that lead to his stay of ten months in Vietnam.  


“Thank you, really. I need that,” Klaus laughed softly, reluctantly pulling his hand back, and if he wanted to, he could have easily convinced himself that Dave looked reluctant to pull back as well. Dave jostled for a second, glancing behind him at the man who he had joined in his seat, before rolling his eyes and looking back to Klaus.  


“Do you mind if I sit with you?”  


Klaus was vigorously nodding his head before Dave could even finish that sentence. That same smile overcame his face, and if Klaus hadn’t felt like jello before, he certainly did now. He moved over enough to make room for the other man, who was considerably bigger than him. Klaus couldn’t help but wonder if that came from rigorous military training, or if that was just the way that he was built. He briefly thought that he would like to find that out. The thought of what Dave may look like under his military gear was a welcome distraction from the aching that filled his body as he scooted over, muscles sore from the days before. Dave moved into the spot next to him easily, adjusting the gear on his body and the gun between his legs before looking over to Klaus, a bit of a shy smile on his face. If only he knew the way that that made him feel already.  


“So, I do have a question for you already,” Klaus said, after a few brief moments of just staring at each other, the kind of staring that stole all the witty words right out of Klaus’ mouth.  


“Oh? Go right ahead.”  


“Uh, where are we going?” Klaus asked hesitantly, suddenly realizing that he probably should know what the hell was going on. He didn’t want to give anything away, but it would be pretty hard not to do that. Soon, it would become extremely obvious that he’d had no training, had no idea where they were, or what they were supposed to be doing. 

Suddenly, the briefcase was feeling like a pretty good option.  


But Dave just let out a little huff of laughter, no sense of suspicion about him.  


“They didn’t fill you in much before they sent you out here, did they? You don’t seem really prepared,” he said, and even though he sounded a bit concerned, there was no hint of condescension in his voice. Klaus was pretty sure that Dave was one of the only ones who had seen him completely nude and confused when he had first landed there, so by all means, he should think that Klaus was a complete idiot. And yet it didn’t seem that way. Not yet, at least. Dave hardly knew him. There was a lot of room for him to change his mind about that.  


“Uh, no,” he answered finally, looking a bit sheepish, giving a small smile, as if asking for forgiveness for something that clearly wasn’t his fault.  


“Well, that’s what I’m here for. I can help you out if you need it. So, to answer your first, of what will probably be many questions,” and Klaus let out an actual, genuine laugh at that one, “we’re moving into the A Shau Valley from Saigon, further up North. They’re gonna give us more information about the actual mission when we get a little closer, but I’m pretty sure we’re gonna try to take the valley back. We’ll be prepping for a couple of days at least though. You know, hurry up and wait. I’m glad you came before we actually got there. That could’ve been real confusing.”  


“Lucky me,” Klaus replied, honestly feeling a bit relieved at that, even though he probably wouldn’t be there for that long, hopefully not long enough to even find out what their mission was. Luckily, the mention of Saigon had answered more of his questions. This was definitely Vietnam, and almost definitely sometime in the sixties. Out of all of the places he could have been sent, of course he had ended up in one of the most horrific wars in American history. Lucky him.  


But then there was Dave, shining and smiling with his curly hair and helpful answers to all sorts of questions, who sought him out on a bus after seeing him mostly naked and bleeding only hours before.  


Lucky him.  


“I might have to get back to you on my next question,” Klaus continued, and they shared a brief smile, before Dave nodded, looking away from him briefly.  


“I’m here whenever you need me,” he said sincerely, and Klaus really believed it, “but I actually have a question for you. I know you haven’t offered to answer yet, but..”  


“Oh, no, I’m an open book, same as you. Though I hate to say I may not quite have the same amount of answers that you do.”  


“I’m counting on it.”  


They stared at each other for another beat, grinning at the easy teasing that was flowing between them.  


“Uh, anyway,” Dave finally continued, clearing his throat as if to shake off any tension that was following their interaction, which assisted Klaus in coming down from that high, too. “I was just hoping to get to know you a little. You know, us guys in this troop are pretty close. We lost a guy a few days ago, and I’m assuming you’re his replacement, and a lot of the guys are probably gonna be pretty sensitive about it. I just thought I’d fill you in, so you don’t take it too personal.”  
Klaus nodded in understanding, and didn’t feel like telling sweet Dave that he didn’t need to get to know him. He would be out of here soon enough, long before most of the people in the troop got too attached to him. Not that they would anyway, even if he was around for months. He would be more dead weight than anything else, just as he always had been.  


“Maybe I’ll just stick by you for now, then. You don’t seem too hurt by my presence,” he tried to tease, but it ended up coming out too sincere, too honest. Even if it was intended to be a joke, he had meant it. Why would he spend time with anyone else when he was here, breathing life into a body that had just been tortured for days?  


“I can arrange that,” came the simple reply, a small, personal smile arching over his face.  


It was amazing how one look could become everything so quickly.  


And then the bus jarred, hitting a large pothole, one that sent Klaus flying into the side of the bus, sending an ache through his body. It didn’t take much to remind him of what he had been through the past few days. It could’ve taken a much smaller pothole to achieve the same effect, and Klaus found himself wishing it was. For a moment, he sat there in agony, closing his eyes against the jarring of the bus and the aching in his muscles, and sudden overwhelming urge for a hit of literally anything. Dave had seemed jostled by the movement as well, as had the other men on the bus, a chorus of groan erupting out of them, but once they had settled down, Klaus was the only one who was still left reeling.  


“Hey, are you okay?”  


Klaus forced a thumbs up out of the fetal position he had found himself in, tucked up against the side of the bus. Each time it made any sort of movement, new waves of pain coursed through his body, but it was easier than forcing himself to sit up straight. Anything was better than having to make himself look presentable. Preferably, he would crawl underneath the seat and take a long nap, but that seemed too far fetched, even for him.  


“Car sick,” he gritted out instead, and figured that that would suffice. It would certainly attribute for the shakiness and how much he wanted to vomit, but the other aches and pains in his body couldn’t be explained away. He hoped Dave wouldn’t ask. He also wished he hadn’t said he was an open book. Of course, he could simply redact that statement, but for some reason, he felt as if he wanted to keep his word to Dave. It was the least he could do.  


“The bus isn’t exactly great for a lot of the guys at first. Especially with the heat and the humidity,” he responded gently, hesitantly resting a hand on Klaus’ shoulder, before letting it slide off. “Can I do anything to help?”  


Klaus ran a hand over his face, breathing out shakily. Most of that came from the feeling of his body falling apart, but then there was also the brief touch of a broad hand across his shoulder. Carefully, Klaus mumbled a response, “the hand didn’t hurt.”  


A small laugh came from his right, and Klaus glanced over shyly at Dave, who had a grin on his face. “Alright, I can do that,” he responded, before putting his hand back, squeezing it once gently before relaxing it again. Klaus couldn’t help but smile back at him through all the pain and nausea, because honestly, just the sight of that smile replaced it with butterflies. The thought that he was behaving like an idiot didn’t even cross his mind. For a moment, he just wanted to be caught up in this interaction. After a lifetime of not being seen, the way that Dave was looking at him was pretty easy to fall for. A moment later, Klaus broke the eye contact, letting his head fall in his hands to try and calm his roiling stomach. It wasn’t just that, of course. His skin burned, and his wounds ached, though he supposed a medic might be able to help him with that. Maybe even get him some pain killers. Then, if he knew where they were, he would be able to get some more and..  


“My mom used to do this for me.”  


Klaus frowned a bit, making a small noise in acknowledgement, but not looking up.  


“Rub my back when I was carsick, I mean. You know those big, giant cars from Ford? My dad had one of those when I was a kid. It always got me sick. My mom would sit in the backseat with me and just put a hand on my back when we were going someplace far away. It always made me feel better. I don’t know if it was just my mom or not, but I figured I would try it.”  


Klaus turned his frown of confusion up to Dave after a beat, though his eyes betrayed that he appreciated the story.  


“Do you tell all the new guys this, or is it just something about my impish demeanor that makes you want to share?” Dave huffed a little laugh, smile pulling at the corners of his lips.  


“Open book, right?”  


Klaus nodded once, before turning his head back down, for the nausea, of course, but also to hide the reddening in his cheeks.  


“Yeah,” he mumbled back into his hand, and he could practically feel the smile Dave was burning into the side of his face. Smug bastard.  


A few beats of silence passed, of which Klaus wasn’t really fond of, because he was starting to hear some whispering from the back of the bus that he wasn’t entirely sure was just the soldiers being rowdy. Fortunately, it was as if Dave instinctively knew where to step in.  


“It’s a good question, actually, whether or not it’s just you,” he continued, and Klaus hadn’t even realized that he was tensing up until his shoulders were relaxing under his voice, which could have explained why Dave had piped up again, “but I think I’d have to say it’s just you. Most other guys get here and they’re real scared, you know? Especially when they’re drafted. I don’t really blame them for it, I was pretty scared, too. So they like to talk, more than just listening to me jabber on about how my mom calmed me down when I was a kid. You don’t seem like much of a talker.”  


Klaus couldn’t help but actually burst out in laughter, to which Dave seemed surprised, not moving his hand even as his shoulders shook with giggles.  


“I think you are the first person in the world that said that about me,” he got out through his laughter, ruffling his hair slightly, “just wait until you get me on a good day. You’ll wish you had enjoyed this time more.”  


“I don’t think that’s true. I’m enjoying the sound of your voice now,” and when Klaus glanced over at him again, the soft look on his face made Klaus’ insides turn into liquid. 

A small, hurried huff escaped his lips, halfway between a laugh and a noise of disbelief.  


“I’ll try to entertain you at a later date, then,” he promised, giving a small smile, and Dave’ didn’t move. He hadn’t really, since the moment that he had sat down across from him on the bus. It was a stark contrast to the mood of the men around them, and the brief moments of warfare Klaus had been exposed to so far. The fact that anyone could still smile like that in a place like this was pretty far fetched to him. He must not have been here too long, then. Or maybe he had volunteered. Maybe he was so happy because he actually really loved being here. Somehow Klaus had a hard time believing that any of those things were true. Suddenly, Dave clapped down on his shoulder, a friendly gesture, but one that sent rivulets of pain through his body. Involuntarily, a cry escaped his lips, body hunching in on himself. He couldn’t find himself to be mad at the gesture, especially when Dave’s face turned to one of shock, pulling his hand away, though still hovering over him.  


“Shit, are you okay? Did you get hurt in combat?”  


“You could say that,” he forced out through a grin.  


“Why didn’t you tell someone?”  


“I think you can tell that I’m pretty new here. Not exactly sure who to go to for help,” he paused a beat, before giving Dave a wink, “well, besides you, of course.” Dave’s brain seemed to stall for a moment, emotions flickering across his face quickly, before he settled on a frown. Maybe winking wasn’t a good idea.  


“I’m not a doctor. I said I’m here to answer questions, I never said anything about being able to provide medical attention,” he countered.  


“Well your back rubs were just so soothing, I figured you had to have some medical expertise.”  


Dave let out a sigh through an amused look, making Klaus smile, even though he was still doubled over himself. The pain was nothing when confronted with the glint in Dave’s eyes, a reaction he always strived to get from people. It was even more satisfying when coming from him.  


“What’s wrong with you?”  


“How much time do you have?”  


“Klaus, I want to help you. That’s why we’re here. For each other. But I can’t get you medical attention if I don’t know why you’re in pain.”  
Klaus simply looked up at Dave for a moment, eyebrows pulled together in slight confusion. Dave was actually concerned about him. That was what the scowl was for, and the scolding tone of voice. Not because he was annoyed with his smart mouth, if anything, he was frustrated that he was letting himself get distracted by being amused by it. No, he was upset because Klaus was hurting, and he was kicking himself for not doing anything about it. That was a new feeling.  


“My uh, I got a cut, across my chest. Someone tried to strangle me, and I got beat up a little, too.”  


“You got that close to the VC?” Dave seemed shocked that Klaus was even still alive.  


Even if it wasn’t a Vietcong soldier that did this to him, the fact that he was still breathing was shocking for him too, for more than one reason.  


“Yeah, it was a close one,” he sighed, closing his eyes and putting his head back in his hands. The images of being tortured flashed back in front of his face, flinching a little against them. He had ratted out Five, after all of that pain, just because he needed to get high. Who knew what was going on with them because of what he did? The worst part was, it was his first priority now, too. Dave talking about giving him medical attention was exciting because he had someone who actually gave a shit, but also because he knew the possibilities of getting his hands on something to make the itch in his skin go the hell away. He could practically feel Ben’s glare on the back of his head just at that thought.  


“God. You’re lucky to be alive,” Dave said, his voice sounding haunted, “don’t move, okay? I’ll be right back.”  


Klaus lifted his head slightly as Dave got up from the spot next to him, trying to shove down the whimper that threatened to rise in his throat. He hadn’t realized how much his presence had been keeping him stable until he was gone, the spot he had been sitting getting filled with someone who was much less pleasant to look at, the skin on half of his face melted away.  


“Can I have Dave back, please? You’re one ugly motherfucker,” he said to the soldier, who glared and growled threateningly back at him, making him flinch and look away. Klaus took to staring at the seat in front of him instead.  


By the time Dave got back, Klaus was feeling much more jittery. It couldn’t have been more than a handful of minutes, but in that time, his hands had begun moving incessantly across his thighs, shaking in their movements. The whispers from the back of the bus had begun to grow louder, and even though the soldier next to him was dead silent, his presence was almost worse than the noises from the others. He wouldn’t look away, no matter how many times Klaus hissed at him to fuck off, pack up his shit and find someone else to stare menacingly at. Luckily he had stopped mumbling to himself, but he was sure that he looked like more of a wreck than before, if that was even possible. He jumped a little as Dave flopped back down in the seat next to him, before he gave Klaus an apologetic smile.  


“It’s kinda hard to be graceful in here,” he said, and Klaus relaxed immediately, giving a slight shrug.  


“I’ll forgive you this time.”  


“Oh, good, I don’t know what I would have done without a second chance,” he teased back, and all the nerves in his system settled back down to an insistent buzz, overridden with absolute delight at this man’s presence, “so Doc Jensen can’t exactly check you out right now, but I got you some pain killers to help you make it through the rest of the bus ride. They might knock you out, but that should help with you feeling sick, too. Once we get to camp I’ll take you to the medical tent. That sound alright to you?”  


“That sounds wonderful,” Klaus answered honestly, before shakily taking the pill bottle from Dave, wanting to cry from relief. He could tell that Dave was staring at the way that his hands shook, but for the first time since they had met, Klaus wasn’t worried about what he was thinking of him. Instead, he was worried about getting this entire body of pills in his body as fast as humanly possible. Unfortunately, that plan was shoved by the wayside when he poured four out into his hand, and Dave put a hand over the bottle.  


“Any more than that will kill you.” He said simply, voice trying to sound unconcerned, but his face gave him away. So far it didn’t seem like Dave was one to run from emotions.  


“That’s the goal, isn’t it?” Klaus teased back, but the joke fell flat, and he reluctantly put one back in the bottle, before taking the rest dry. He was sure that Dave wasn’t exactly happy with the result of that. That thought was pretty much confirmed when Dave took it upon himself to shove the bottle of pills into his vest pocket, but Klaus didn’t care. This high was going to be his best in a long time.  


“I’ll wake you up when we get there,” a gentle voice came from next to him, and all Klaus could do was give him a thumbs up before he was pulled away, dragged into sleep for the first time in days.


	2. Chapter 2

Klaus was woken up by shouting at the front of the bus, and then by a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he expected all of what had happened in the past twenty four hours to be a dream. 

The sight that confronted him when he opened his eyes confirmed that that was not quite the truth. 

“Hey, we’re at base,” Dave said, his mouth pulled into an uncharacteristic frown. 

“Mm, okay,” Klaus barely got out, blinking his eyes blearily a few times before sitting up straight, realizing only now that he had been leaning against the other man’s shoulder, “did I drool on you?” 

Dave huffed a laugh at the question, shaking his head and looking away from him. 

“Let’s go.” 

With a grin, Klaus stood up, all bleariness from his pill induced sleep gone. There was a slight pounding in his head, but that was to be expected. Those couple pills wouldn’t be enough to sustain his high, but luckily, if he remembered correctly, he would be headed to the medic tent soon enough. As Klaus’ thoughts wandered, he was suddenly met with the hard and muscular front of Dave, who had stopped just as Klaus had started to exit the bus. Confused, he looked to the other man, who was pointing under the bus seat. 

“Uh, do you need that?” he asked, to which Klaus whipped around, eyes widening at the sight of the briefcase. He scrambled back down under the seat, grabbing hold of it with both arms, hugging it close to his chest as he stood up. 

“Yeah. Thanks,” he breathed out, and he couldn’t tell if Dave was confused or amused by his scatterbrained actions. It was better than the all out exasperation of his siblings though, so he counted it as a win. Finally, the two of them headed out of the bus together, Klaus following Dave as closely as he could. A frown took over his face as they stepped off, stumbling a bit on the exit. The heat in the bus was bad enough, but at least they were in the shade. Now, it hit him like a wet towel, making him scrunch up his nose in disgust. From ahead of them, he could hear someone yelling, but it didn’t concern him enough to actually try and pay attention. The men around him seemed to be, though, including Dave, who straightened his back in respect. The sight made Klaus’ lips tick in the beginnings of a smile. He only realized that he was staring when Dave’s attention wavered slightly, eyes flicking over to him in confusion. That didn’t make Klaus look away, though. No, he actually stared harder, possibly in an attempt to fluster him, possibly because he really just wanted to soak up the sight of Dave as much as he could, even if the man thought he was weird. Most of Klaus’ own motivations were unclear to him. 

Once the yelling man was done yelling, Dave turned his full attention back to Klaus, something that he thought he would like to get used to. Standing up, Dave was just as tall as him, but his presence was much larger. His body was bigger, of course, but there was also an intensity to his gaze, like he was zeroing in on Klaus and nothing else around them mattered. It made Klaus’ knees a little weak. 

“Let me get you to Jensen, alright? Then we can join the rest of the guys. I’ll even introduce you to them so you have someone else to talk to,” he was serious, but there was a teasing edge to his voice, and it made Klaus’ smile widen a little. 

“But I like talking to you.” 

“Okay, well, I’ll get you patched up, and then we can talk some more. Come on.” 

Klaus nodded once before they were headed off to wherever Dave was taking them, and it seemed like he had been here before. He found his way through the chaos of the camp easily, nodding occasionally at some people that they passed, all while ignoring curious glances that were thrown at Klaus. There were many of those. It didn’t bother him though, really. He had gotten much worse looks in his life for much less than just being a fresh face. If Dave noticed, he didn’t show it either. He wasn’t embarrassed to be seen. It was nice. 

When they reached the medical tent, Dave held open the flap for him, to which Klaus pretended to clutch his pearls at. The small laugh that followed him in made a grin split across his features, but it didn’t last long. The sight, and the smell of that tent was enough to keep a smile off his face for a long time. Klaus stopped in his tracks, beginning to back up until he felt Dave’s chest hit his back. His arms wrapped tighter around the briefcase he was still clutching, hands itching to open it. There were dozens of them, men groaning and trudging around with gashes in their faces, across their chests, blood oozing from wounds still fresh even weeks after they had occurred. So far, it had been pretty easy to separate the living from the dead, to pretend that some guys just hadn’t gotten a chance to change into something without blood on it yet, but here it wasn’t as clear. The line between the living in the dead had been smeared so much Klaus wasn’t even sure which side he fell on. 

“Hey, are you okay?” came a voice from directly beside him, and it took him a moment to realize that Dave had moved to steady him, one hand gripped onto his arm as he looked on. His brow was furrowed, and his mouth was drawn into a line. It made Klaus try to give him the same focus back. Dave was the only one in the room. The howling wasn’t real. The stench wasn’t there. The kid, god, he was just a kid, with half his head blown off, still crying, wasn’t there. It was just him and Dave. 

“All good here,” he choked out, “why, are you feeling a little woozy? Maybe we should get you an appointment, too.” 

It was clear that Dave wasn’t buying it. At first, Klaus thought that maybe he should try a little harder to push for the sale, but something about the look in Dave’s eyes stopped him from doing that. Instead, he just closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again, meeting bright blue. 

“I just need a doctor,” he said gently, which wasn’t exactly a lie. The doctor could supply exactly what he needed. Dave nodded then, keeping his gentle grip on Klaus’ arm as he shifted his focus onto the room, heading forward. Klaus moved hesitantly, as if every movement was pain, until he finally sat down on a cot at the far end of the tent, one that was already occupied by a man who didn’t seem too happy at the idea of sharing it. He let his eyes close against the complaints as Dave went to get the medic, missing the distraction of his presence. 

“Hey,” Klaus’ eyes snapped open as he realized that the voice had said that a couple times before, “Jesus. You doing okay?” 

“Dandy. Uh, who are you?” 

“Klaus, this is Tyler Jensen. The medic.” Klaus tilted his head slightly to look behind the person standing in his way, relieved to see Dave standing behind him. He hadn’t just left him. Not yet. 

“Oh, goodie,” he replied, grinning at Dave before shifting his gaze back to Jensen, who wasn’t nearly as interesting to look at. He seemed kind, though, face a little worried as he looked him over, but that same laser focus that Dave looked at him with was absent. Must not have just been an army thing, then. 

“Jensen, this is Klaus, uh.. Did you mention your last name?” Dave seemed almost embarrassed at having to ask. It made sense, though. Most of the men called each other by their last names. It seemed to be out of the ordinary that Klaus and Dave had been referring to each other in such informal ways thus far. 

“Hargreeves. Klaus Hargreeves.” 

“Well, Hargreeves, good to have you. You got these injuries from a VC?” he asked, before pulling at Klaus’ shirt to look at the bloody wound across his chest, then grabbing at his face to look in his eyes, before tilting his head up to look at the marks along his throat. 

“Jeez, would you buy me a drink first?” he groaned, but let it all happen anyway. If he had to go through this to get some drugs, he would gladly do it. Jensen didn’t seem too amused with the comment, even as Dave smiled from behind him. That one reaction was worth it for Klaus. 

“Would you answer the question?” 

“I might be more inclined to if you said the magic word,” he grunted a little as Jensen gripped his face a little harder, “but yes. In the fire fight last night.” 

“You’re lucky to be alive, man.” 

“Yeah, I get that a lot- Ow! Be gentle!” Klaus outburst, jumping back as Jensen ran a washcloth along the cut on his chest, who didn’t still his movements. His insistence at taking care of Klaus was a little astounding, honestly. He thought for a moment that he didn’t want Dave to be seeing any of this, even if he was playing up his reactions just a smidge, but a quick glance behind Jensen revealed that same amused expression Klaus had seen before. Apparently his antics were actually entertaining to somebody. He wasn’t used to that. 

“Well, you’ve heard that because it’s true. You don’t normally come that close to one of those fuckers and end up the one alive,” Jensen paused, frowning as he continued to clean up Klaus’ wounds, “actually, most people don’t even end up that close to them at all. Normally just disappear into the trees before we can get there.” 

“Must have been a rambunctious one,” Klaus mumbled in response, before letting his eyes slip closed, exhaustion suddenly washing over him again. The heat was nearly unbearable, and the nap he had taken in the bus was the most he had slept in the past two days. Even without drugs, all he wanted was some rest, which he knew wouldn’t be possible. Luckily he didn’t have to sell his injuries too hard in order to get what he wanted. It was clear that Jensen was worried about him, as well as Dave, who had been hovering for longer than seemed normal around here. Maybe he was being completely serious when he said they were all close in their little troop. Klaus jolted suddenly as the ghost behind him made a grotesque choking noise, as if blood was filling his mouth, eyes snapping open with a hard gasp. He met Jensen’s eyes first, before searching for Dave, whose mouth was pressed into a tight line. 

“I hate to rush the process, or whatever,” Klaus gasped, “but it smells like death in here. That’s on my like, top five least favorite smells, so if you could just give me a script and send me off, that would be fantastic.” Jensen, as usual, seemed unamused, but there was a flicker of understanding behind his eyes. He supposed that Jensen was the closest thing to a version of him around here. He probably saw just as many dead guys as Klaus did on a daily basis. Not to mention they were probably his friends. 

“You don’t need any stitches, but I’m gonna give you some stuff for the pain. Try not to get too much mud in the wounds I just cleaned for you,” Jensen said, though he sounded a bit defeated at that. It probably wasn’t very easy to follow that order around here. Klaus nodded anyway, feeling like he wouldn’t actively try to get the wounds dirty again. That kind of pain was about the last thing on his list of things he would like to experience again. Jensen moved away a moment later, presumably just to go grab more pain medication. 

Then he and Dave were left alone again, and for the first time since they had met, he wished that he wasn’t there. All Klaus wanted to do was melt into the floor. He wanted all of the voices to be quiet, and the last thing he wanted was for Dave to see him in the middle of a breakdown. So far, it seemed that he hadn’t totally fucked up Dave’s perception of him yet, but he was certain that his screaming at a ghost would completely destroy all of that. Even as he tried to keep it together, he found his head falling into his hands. It felt like a magnet, drawing it closer to his hands until finally they connected. It didn’t help the noise at all, but at least he couldn’t see the marred faces of the men around him anymore. 

“Are you doing okay?” Dave asked, and Klaus knew that if he looked up, his face would show nothing but kindness. He didn’t deserve it. Not when Klaus was using that kindness as a way to get high. 

“You keep asking me that, I’m not sure when you’ll learn that my answer isn’t likely to change.” Dave huffed a little laugh, and Klaus could feel the cot dip near him. As much as he wanted to refuse this small act of kindness, Klaus was selfish. He had been told that his whole life, and right now, he believed it more than ever. He let Dave worry about him, because it felt so damn good just to have someone that actually gave a shit. 

“Yeah, I’m not sure why I keep asking that. I think it should be pretty clear by now,” Dave said, and Klaus slowly raised his head, forcing himself to look at Dave instead of the barely human being sitting behind him. “It just seems like you’re getting worse.” 

Klaus shook his head and grinned, before gesturing around the room. He kept his eyes on Dave, though. 

“This is all a bit much,” he added finally, though he could tell by the look on Dave’s face that he didn’t need to add that. The gesture was enough for him. 

“It’s far from the best place on camp,” Dave agreed, and for once, the sympathetic look on his face didn’t feel patronizing, “I’m sorry it’s the first thing you had to see as soon as you joined us. Maybe try not to get too close to a VC next time we go on patrol?” 

Klaus snorted at that, rolling his eyes as he fought off a smirk. 

“Yeah, I’ll do my best to tell them to fuck off. We all know how well they listen.” 

“Maybe if you try saying it in Vietnamese. They might be more receptive.” 

Klaus turned to face Dave fully, matching the smile that Dave was giving him. For a moment they just sat there, staring. The voices were quiet, and the face that had been glaring at him fade into the distance. 

Then Jensen walked back in, a bottle rattling in his hand. 

Klaus pulled his attention away from Dave, his mouth practically watering at the sound. His nails scraped across his thighs as discreetly as possible. Anyone watching would only notice if they were paying attention. 

“Here. Take one whenever you’re hurting. They’re limited, though, so don’t waste them all in one day,” the medic said, before handing the bottle over to Klaus, who tried his best not to snatch it right out of his hand. He wasn’t entirely sure he succeeded. Immediately, Klaus opened the bottle, shaking of his hands obvious. At this point, he was just trying to black out Dave’s presence. It was a sharp contrast of what he was just doing a few moments before, but it was the only way he could get through this. He couldn’t consciously be thinking about Dave while taking pills. So instead, he zeroed in on the little white pills that fell into his hand, and the feeling of them in his mouth as he swallowed them dry. He ignored the raised eyebrow of Jensen in front of him. He honed in on the numbing sensation that spread through his body, and closed his eyes as at least some of the voices around him fell into mumbles. 

Eventually, he opened his eyes again, and Jensen was gone. 

He had a job to do, obviously. He had better things to do than watch Klaus abuse the drugs that he had just handed him, and Klaus didn’t blame him. The disappearance of the medic didn’t surprise him, but the presence of Dave still beside him did. Klaus glanced over at Dave, head still hung a little low, but the man didn’t seem bothered. In fact, he was holding onto a small smile. 

“I was gonna introduce you to some of the guys and walk you around camp, but I’m guessing you just want to go to sleep now,” he said easily, and the tension released from Klaus’ body. He pocketed the bottle of pills before jumping up off of the cot, grinning and stretching his arms wide, up on his tiptoes. 

“I actually feel much better now,” he piped, settling back down on his feet, “we can do whatever you’d like.” 

Dave stared at him for a moment, same small smile still there, before it grew a bit, and he got up to his feet. 

“I think you should get some rest, God knows you won’t get any tonight, but.. I’ll take you around camp first. At least try to get you settled before the shitstorm starts.” 

“Oh! So much to look forward to.” 

They headed out together then, and Klaus was more than grateful to be out of that tent. His boost in mood had come from both the pills and the fact that he was getting out of the place that smelled and looked like death. Two pain killers, no matter how strong, wasn’t strong enough to shut out the ghosts entirely. They were a decent buzz in the background, but a buzz all the same. At least outside of the tent he wasn’t forced to look at them everywhere he went. It was much easier to fool himself in the great outdoors. 

Klaus walked with his briefcase swinging lightly by his side as they exited the tent, this time remembering to actually take it with him. The urge to open it wasn’t as strong at the moment, and the reasons for that were pretty obvious. Why would he want to go back to his family right now? To Ben, who was disappointed in him for giving up Five’s plan just because he needed a fix, and to the rest of them who didn’t even come looking for him. He had just gotten patched up, and was with a gorgeous guy, and had also been given some free drugs. For now, he was fine to stay here. Returning home to the impending doom of the apocalypse could wait. 

“Do you want to set that down before we go do anything else?” Klaus turned his attention from the camp around them back to Dave, who was looking pointedly at his briefcase. “What’s it for, anyway?” 

At the question, Klaus brought it close to his chest again, looking to Dave wide eyed and tight lipped. Although Dave looked amused, he also looked like he wanted answers. Klaus could tell that he wasn’t going to take a bullshit answer from him this time. 

“Uh, it’s my personal things. From home. Things to keep me sane out here,” he said, forcing a slight laugh, “yes, is the answer. To setting it down before we go walk around.” 

Klaus could practically hear Ben screaming at him not to leave the time machine unattended god knows where, where god knows who could stumble upon it. 

But Ben wasn’t there, and Klaus was really tired of carrying the damned thing around. 

“Then we’ll head to the bunks first.” Dave smiled at him, and Klaus melted in return. 

The walk across camp to the bunks didn’t take very long, and they spent most of it in comfortable silence. Up until this point, they had done nothing but speak to each other. It was nice for them both to just get to relax for a moment, for Klaus to ride his high in his own mind for a moment. To be fair, his own mind consisted mostly of thoughts of Dave, ones that weren’t appropriate to say out loud in the sixties in the middle of war. Silence was probably for the best. That little reprieve was broken the moment Dave held open the tent flap for him, though, the space around them exploding into noise. 

There were dozens of cots lining down the walls of the tent, and dozens of men bustling around them. Most of them were yelling, rough housing with each other, playing cards and whatever else. The long bus trip had obviously gotten them riled up, and it was clear that most of them were just boys that needed to get their energy out. Apparently putting them all in a tent together was a perfect outlet for that energy. 

When Klaus glanced over to see what Dave thought of it all, he had a content look on his face. It looked as if he had just come home. It was strange that a place so loud could give someone so quiet such reprieve. It was a stark reminder that Klaus didn’t know a thing about Dave. His opinions were made solely on a couple hours worth of interactions. For all he knew, Dave could just be doing this because he pitied Klaus. He had been tossed into this helplessly, afterall, and maybe he just saw him as a charity case. 

When Dave looked back over at him though, Klaus couldn’t make that thought fit in his mind. For once, he actually had a harder time believing that someone was out to get him than that they were genuinely trying to help. It was a nice change of pace. 

Dave gave a little nod of his head to indicate that Klaus should follow him, and he did so without hesitation. Little looks followed him through the tent, but Klaus didn’t mind any of them. They were all clearly very comfortable together. One new guy had to be a drastic change to their lifestyle, especially since Dave had mentioned they had lost a man just a week ago. Klaus was a bit caught up in his own thoughts when Dave suddenly stopped, tossing his own duffel bag down on one of the cots. He froze in his tracks as Dave started to make up his bed, unsure what he was supposed to do. He was more than happy to just watch Dave make his bed, but that didn’t seem like the point in coming here. 

After a moment, Dave realized Klaus was unmoving, and turned around, giving him an amused look. 

“That’s yours,” he finally said, pointing to the cot next to his, and Klaus’ eyebrows raised. 

“You can just do that?” 

“Well, no one’s taken it yet, right? If you want it, you can have it,” Dave said with a reassuring smile, before turning back to his own bed, already finished unloading his things from his bag. He didn’t carry much. It didn’t seem like anyone did. Klaus only hesitated for one more moment before moving to his own cot, gently setting the briefcase down on top of it. After a moment of indecision, he stuffed it under the cot instead, smiling a little at his own genius. Surely no one would mess with it when it was there. Then, he took the gun off his shoulder and set it down on top of the covers, along with his helmet. It was a relief to get that off of him, and he wouldn’t be mad if he didn’t have to pick it up again before he left. Really, that was all that he had to do to make the cot his own. He didn’t have a bag full of letters like some of the men did, or his own blanket, or a change of clothes. It was extraordinarily clear how unprepared he was. By the time Klaus was done, Dave was sitting on the edge of his bed, watching Klaus with a rather soft expression. An expression that didn’t belong anywhere near war. 

“What?” Klaus asked with a small smile, almost afraid he had done something wrong and Dave was laughing at him for it. Dave just shook his head at the question, before ducking it in embarrassment. Apparently Klaus wasn’t meant to see that look on his face. Interesting. 

“I was just wondering if you had any more questions. You know, for your personal guide. Before we get started on the official tour,” he finally answered, grinning up at Klaus. The conversation on the bus came rushing back to him, and suddenly he felt warmth in the pit of his stomach. He had actually been serious about all of the open book stuff. The vague offer of asking questions was alluring to Klaus. Most of his questions didn’t pertain to war, but he figured he could wait to delve into those. 

“Yeah, I have one. Why do you want me to sleep next to you?” Klaus asked. So much for sticking to questions relating to war. The surprised look that crossed Dave’s face did not go unnoticed, even if he tried to cover it up quickly after. 

“I figured you don’t know anything, I would just try to keep you under my wing. Is that alright with you?” 

And god, Dave was just too sweet. He was genuine as he asked if that was okay. As if he didn’t want to come across as patronizing. He wouldn’t force himself into a role that Klaus wasn’t okay with, even if it was something that he felt inclined to do. 

“It’s perfect,” Klaus said honestly, not bothering to hide his smile. It was hard to when he felt that warm inside. 

The smile that was forming on Dave’s face back at him was quickly cut off when the person from the cot over groaned, sitting up from where he was laying down. 

“Christ, Katz, you’re like a fairy godmother with FNG,” the man said, and even though he sounded irritated, there was a wide grin spread across his face. Klaus cocked his head at this new man, immediately thrown off by his presence, and what he had called him. Dave, however, seemed perfectly content with it, smiling as he turned around to face the man. The two of them reached out to shake hands, both grinning. As Klaus observed the interaction, he sat down on his own cot, not bothering to comment on how uncomfortable it was. It was miles better than sleeping on a sidewalk. He couldn’t complain. 

“Oh, you’re just saying that cause you’re jealous I invited someone else on the cot next to me,” Dave teased the other man, who simply shrugged. He rested his elbows on his knees, gazing past Dave over at Klaus. The stare was intense, but not unkind. It reminded him a bit of Diego. Taking in all the information before making a decision. Quickly though, it seemed that his decision was that he was going to accept Klaus, probably just because Dave had. “O’Brien, this is Klaus, uh, Hargreeves. Klaus, this is O’Brien. Tim.” 

O’Brien nodded at him in greeting, giving him another once over. 

“Don’t let Katz here poison you. If you want real military training, come to me,” he said slyly, before winking at Dave, “he’s too soft.” 

Dave made a slight noise of protest, a frown on his face, but he didn’t say anything else to defend himself. It seemed like as much as he wanted to disagree, he couldn’t. As far as Klaus had seen, O’Brien was most likely right. 

“If I want to learn how to kick someone’s ass, I promise I’ll come to you first,” Klaus said, his tone dripping with sarcastic reverence, hands pressed together as if he was praying. O’Brien and Dave both let out a little laugh, even if O’Brien seemed a bit confused by.. Well, everything about Klaus. 

“Yeah, well, I charge a cigarette per lesson, so try not to get into too many fights,” he said, before standing up, clapping Dave on the shoulder, and starting to head out, “I’ll see you around, Hargreeves!” 

Klaus watched the man walk away for a moment, eyebrows pulled together, a little frown pulling at the corners of his lips. The conversation was suspiciously pleasant. 

“What’s that look for?” Dave asked, looking a little confused, but mostly still content. 

“I didn’t expect guys to be so accepting of me,” Klaus said honestly Dave made the truth pour out of him like an oil spill. Dave frowned a little at the statement, and Klaus knew it wouldn’t be easy to mop up. It was almost a relief to have it all out, though. There just didn’t seem to be a point in lying to Dave. If he suddenly said too much, making him pull away, he would just open the briefcase and get sent to the next decade he could royally fuck up. 

“At the worst, there’s a couple of guys that might resent you for taking the place of Ted. Trust me, we’ve seen weirder,” Klaus’ lips tilted into a little smile, looking down at his gun, attempting to hide the look on his face. Quickly, he melded it into something a lot less embarrassing. 

“You think I’m weird?” he asked with a loud gasp, holding a hand over his heart. Dave shook his head, and though he looked amused, he also looked wondering. Like Klaus was some sort of strange, incredible mystery. It made Klaus’ chest roil. 

“You don’t?” 

Klaus paused, the surprise at being outwitted showing on his face. 

“I thought I was the one who was supposed to be asking you questions.” 

“Alright, fine,” Dave laughed, tapping his hands on his knees for a moment before standing, looking away from Klaus. It took him a moment to compose himself, which Klaus found both endearing and intriguing. A beat later, Dave looked back to him, looking decidedly less flustered. “What questions do you have?” 

Even though Klaus asked for it, he was a little thrown off. He never really planned too far ahead of his mouth. 

Klaus finally looked back up to meet Dave’s curious gaze. 

“How the hell do you use this thing?” Klaus gestured at his gun while still watching Dave, if only to see his reaction. It was well worth it. It was clear that Dave couldn’t tell if he was kidding or not, face see-sawing between amusement and horror, before eventually deciding on horror. 

“They didn’t even show you how to use a gun in basic?” he asked, sputtering a bit around the words. 

“Nope. Well, maybe they did, but I wasn’t a very good student,” Klaus answered, rocking back a bit on the bed, a sly smile on his face. Technically he wasn’t lying there. He had always been a horrible student. Reginald had always let him know that. 

“I can’t imagine you were,” Dave said, a small smile pulling at his lips, and Klaus let out a small huff of laughter. 

“You act like you know me, David. Do you get along with all of your new grunts like this?” 

“No, not really.” 

Klaus paused then, lips pulling together tightly. That wasn’t quite the answer he was expecting. So far, he had been under the impression that Dave was just nice, and liked to do this to help build team morale. That simple answer was still rattling around inside of his head, making itself bigger and louder than Dave probably intended it to be. He tried to shake it out, but even though it got quieter, it stuck around. Dave was looking shy, as if he had revealed something deeply personal about himself. It made Klaus’ need to deescalate at whatever cost rear its head. 

“Well it looked like you and O’Brien got along just fine. He teased you more than I did. Should I go ask him how to use my gun instead?” 

“You heard him, his lessons aren’t free, and it doesn’t look like you have any cigarettes on you,” Dave gave him a once over, probably thinking that it looked like Klaus needed one about now, “so you’re probably stuck with me. I do have a little fee, though.” 

Klaus raised an eyebrow at that, bringing a hand up to his chin. “Color me intrigued.” 

“I get to ask you questions, too.” 

After a brief moment of fighting off a smile, Klaus stuck out the hand that he had tucked under his chin, and proclaimed, “deal.” 

Dave grinned unabashedly back at Klaus, shaking his hand firmly. It was much like the one they had shared on the bus just hours before, and the contact still made Klaus’ heart thud a bit harder in his chest. He was gonna have to get that under control if he wanted to stick around. He was sure that Dave could see right through him, eyes so sharp and focused. Klaus didn’t mind the feeling of having his soul picked apart. Dave kind of made him feel like it would be easy to let him do it.


	3. Chapter 3

It took Klaus hours to figure out how to use that damn thing. 

Dave was patient, and kind, but if he looked hard enough, Klaus could see the frustration boiling underneath his skin. When Klaus asked about it, Dave had frozen still, and Klaus had known it was about him. He was mad at him for being so stupid, for not being able to learn quickly enough how to reload, or mad that his hands wouldn’t stop shaking, angry that he stopped to take more pain meds halfway through. 

And then Dave shook his head, ran a hand through his curls, and went on a long, passionate rant about how the army needed to be training men better, and that it would cost them lives and heartache because of it. He spoke more about this one topic than Klaus had ever heard so far, and it was far and away the angriest Klaus had ever seen him. It was stunning. 

Eventually, Klaus became competent enough to clean, load, and discharge his gun in a safe manner, even if he didn’t hit the target every single time. Once Dave had gotten all of his frustration out of his system, he was Klaus’ biggest cheerleader, and it didn’t even feel forced. He genuinely just wanted Klaus to learn. At one point, Klaus had convinced him that he was a visual learner, and that the only way he could get to be an expert was by watching Dave load and fire while he sat on the ground cross legged. If his rant hadn’t been stunning enough, that little show definitely was. 

Even when he was completely distracted by Dave, or freaked out from holding and firing a gun for the first time, Klaus was actually smiling. It was different from the smile he usually painted onto his face in the morning. It wasn’t tired, and it wasn’t from the lightness of being so high he couldn’t think about his problems. It was from actually enjoying the things that he was doing, around people he enjoyed. Well, a person. It was such a relief to not have to sketch that smile on for the benefit of everyone else. It was easy. The smile remained through dinner, even though the tent smelled disgusting and the food was even worse. The company made up for it, though. Dave’s friends were actually.. Rather fabulous. He should have seen that coming. He should have expected that all of the people Dave chose to associate himself with would be as funny and witty as he was, even if he himself was the exception to that rule. 

O’Brien, whom Klaus had already met, was sarcastic and dry, and always found a way to poke fun at the other guys, especially Dave. He sat on Dave’s right side, Klaus on his left, and he often leaned forward on the table to shoot Klaus comments about Dave. He would always finish these sly remarks with a smirk and a grin at Dave himself, who seemed exasperated but amused, much like dealing with an older brother. . He also was constantly calling him FNG. Klaus had yet to get an answer about what it meant. For some reason, it didn’t really bother him. He had never had a nickname before. He was definitely Klaus’ favorite of all of his friends. 

Then, directly across from Dave was a jittery thing, small but muscular, who Klaus often found looking at him. He was constantly scratching at his wrist, or tapping on the table, and at one point, nearly fell out of his seat when another soldier dropped his tray on the ground. When he spoke, it was like machine gun fire. It was accurate, quick, and almost always too hard to keep up with. For a long time, Klaus tried to figure out if all of it was from nerves or drugs. He honestly really hoped it was the latter. They all referred to him as Lee. 

There was an empty chair, then. A seemingly gaping hole right next to Lee and across from Dave, as if there was supposed to be another member of the group. Klaus had thought about sitting there at one point. It would have made sense. Their seating arrangement felt unbalanced. Even though Klaus could have sat there and filled the empty space, there was something stopping him from doing so. Of course he wanted to sit next to Dave, but it was more than thought. He didn't want to ask. 

There were others. People who walked by, clapping O'Brien on the shoulder, making faces, calling out names. The entire company seemed friendly, sharp witted and closer than most families Klaus had seen. It was clear that there were sections of people who got along better than others, much like what he would picture a high school cafeteria to look like. From his own experience, it was like rehab, or prison. There were groups, the real soldiers, the jokers, the people who wished they had deserted but ended up here somehow instead. Each of them incredibly unique even in a place like this. Only a few of them looked like they really belonged. 

None of them were as stand out as Dave was, though. 

Even with all the bantering and bickering, which Klaus felt very comfortable contributing to, he constantly found himself drawn to the quiet peacefulness that was Dave. He would join in on the storytelling and the teasing, but kept it mild, always spoken in an even tone of voice. He could have easily been overpowered by O’Brien, but every time he spoke, people had to give him their full attention. It was like he was a public speaker, or an actor reciting a monologue, even when he was talking about the time that O’Brien spooked Lee while he was peeing in the middle of the woods. Thought he was going to die with his pants down, he had said. It was hard to look away. 

Klaus was surprised with the way that things were going thus far. The previous night’s fear and confusion had pretty much left him, especially with the pleasant buzz of a couple painkillers coursing through his veins at all times. Of course he knew that eventually he would run out of meds, and that he had responsibilities to go back to at home, and that Dave and the rest would get sick and tired of him hanging around eventually, but at that moment in time, he really didn’t care. He could almost pretend that he was on vacation. The weather and the company certainly made it seem that way. Plus, he hadn’t heard hardly any bombs go off during the day. He could practically make himself forget that he was in an active war zone in the nineteen sixties. 

Dinner was on a pretty rigid schedule, and when they were told they needed to leave, everyone stood up in unison to leave. Klaus felt a beat behind, scrambling to stand up and collect his dishes, trying his best to keep up with Dave as they headed out, watching his back as any indication of what to do. He tried to make his feet move with the rest of the men, but he hadn’t had enough practice yet. He hadn’t really had any. His little practice session of firing a rifle in the forest didn’t count for anything when it came to the grander machine that was the US military. Even if these men weren’t all properly trained as Dave had hinted at, at least they had some semblance of organization, some idea of how to properly behave when told that dinner was finished. It felt a lot like the Academy. Klaus pushed the thought of home aside again. It wasn’t something he really wanted to think about. They probably hadn’t even noticed he was gone yet. 

“You’re thinking pretty hard over there, Klaus,” came Dave’s voice, gently, which helped Klaus to snap back to reality. His head swiveled over to meet Dave’s kind gaze, melting under it. 

“I didn’t know he could think,” O’Brien chimed in from behind, which seemed to cause a scuffle between him and a man who joined their group, someone he thought was called Diaz, loud laughter coming from both of them as they play fought each other. It brought a small smile to Klaus’ face, briefly reminded of when he and his brothers would do the same thing. He looked away from the two fighting to look back at Dave, who was smiling at them as well. 

“Do you have brothers?” Klaus asked suddenly. Dave’s attention was easily pulled from the action, continuing to walk back towards their bunks. Klaus eagerly followed, awaiting his answer with wide eyes. 

“I’m the youngest of four boys actually,” he said after a brief moment of pause, which Klaus noted, “my oldest brother fought in the Korean War. Volunteered. His name is Adam. You know, the first man God created? Shows you what my parents think of themselves… and him.” Dave laughed lightly at his own words, but Klaus recognized his expression. It was a defense mechanism. He didn’t find that fact funny at all. Briefly, Klaus considered sharing everything. Dave’s parents named their first son Adam, and Klaus’ father named his favorite son Number One. It didn’t get more fucked up than that, and maybe Dave would relate. Hell, he might even find some comfort in the fact that he could talk to someone about favorite children, but as soon as he tried to get the words out, they were stuck back in his throat. Memories of opening up to people choked them back, shoved his tongue back until it was stuck to the roof of his mouth. Dave didn’t know who the Umbrella Academy was, but he could still judge him if he wanted to. 

Instead of opening up, Klaus just let out a light laugh, shaking his head. 

“Parents are really something else,” he said, but his voice sounded disingenuous, even to him. Klaus swallowed hard, trying to push those memories of rejection with it, but they were stuck there, poking hard at his insides, clawing at his throat and making him feel helpless. He could feel Dave looking at him, but he ignored it in favor of pulling his pill bottle out from his pocket and taking yet another, closing his eyes as it slipped down his throat. The memories let that one slide by. Pills were okay. Words weren’t allowed. 

“Do you need to rest? You’ve had a pretty long couple of days,” Dave suggested, and the kindness in his voice made Klaus want to scream. He was going to kill Dave by making him worry so much, all because he couldn’t tell him that his father was an asshole, too. 

“That would probably be a good idea,” he forced out, before looking up to meet Dave’s eyes, finally. His heart spasmed in his chest at what he saw. Dave cared. Genuinely. And he didn’t even know him yet. Any single detail about Klaus’ actual life would probably make him turn away in disgust, but for now, Klaus would let Dave care deeply about a stranger, because it made him feel really good. 

The worst part was, Klaus could feel himself start to care deeply about Dave, too. The little bit he heard about his family just made him crave more. He wanted to know every little thing about him, to understand why Dave chose to talk about just his older sibling, why he seemed so deeply resentful towards his parents, even while continuing to be extremely kind in every other aspect of his life. The fact that he cared so much about Dave’s personal life so quickly made him want to stick around and jump back in that briefcase all at once. 

Instead, Klaus stuffed another pill into his mouth. 

Well, he was about halfway there before he noticed Lee, who had left dinner in a bit of a rush, to which none of the other men had responded to. He was standing off to the side of their quarters, and even from where Klaus was, he could see the man’s hands shaking slightly as he attempted to light something up. His attention was stuck on the man, for the first time since he was there, it had been pulled away from Dave. He knew that Dave was looking at him, could feel his pointed gaze on the side of his head, and almost didn’t want to look back over at him. 

“I’m gonna go chat with Lee for a minute,” Klaus finally said, a bit absently, before finally turning to Dave, giving him a lopsided smile. Dave nodded his head in return, before glancing behind him at the two other men who had almost caught up with them. 

“Yeah, okay,” he said after a beat, gaze drifting away from O’Brien and Diaz, back to Lee, before landing on Klaus with a more genuine smile, “I’ll see you inside.” Guilt flooded through Klaus’ veins, made his smile a little less easy, but luckily guilt was lighter than lead, and he was able to turn away from the other man, back towards Lee. It was the first time Klaus had walked away from Dave. It put an aching sensation in the pit of his chest, even as he moved forwards towards Lee with great expectations. None of it made sense. Before he was even aware of it, Klaus was directly in front of the other man, who was still struggling to get the joint in his hand lit. Up this close, Klaus was sure that that was what it was. It definitely wasn’t a cigarette, which he honestly could have used at that moment as well. There was really only one other option for what it could have been. He tried his best not to stare at it. He didn’t do a very good job at that. Eventually, his eyes raised from the man’s hands, which had stilled in their attempt, meeting Lee’s eyes. 

“Hey, I know you’re new, but they don’t care about this around here, really, like, I’ve seen some of the officers smoking, and they let us get as much as we want when we go into Saigon, seriously, I don’t want the lecture-” 

Klaus cut the man off with a fit of giggles, shaking his head and waving his hands to try and get him to just stop talking. This was definitely the first time someone had assumed he would give a lecture on doing drugs. It would probably, almost definitely be the last. 

“You think I’m going to tell you to stop smoking weed? Did you see me taking those pills earlier?” he laughed, and he could practically feel the relief rushing off of Lee in waves, “no, I was kind of hoping you could spare me some. I can uh, I don’t know, do something for you in return. Or you could do it out of the kindness of your heart, as a welcoming gift.” For a moment, Lee just stared at him, eyes bug wide, before he simply held the joint and the lighter out to him. 

“If you can light this, I’ll give you one,” he said, to which Klaus nodded quickly, taking it from him easily, before lighting it without any issues. Gently, he handed it back to the man, watching him eagerly take it and stick it between his lips. For a moment, they sat there in silence, as Lee let the smoke fill his lungs, and no doubtedly affect his brain. After a moment, it seemed as if he remembered what he had promised Klaus, and dug a container out of his pocket, handing the whole thing to him. “Thanks.” 

“I should be thanking you,” he responded, taking the container from Lee, before opening it with eager hands, digging one out, and putting it immediately in his mouth. For a moment, the two eyeballed each other, blowing smoke in the air between them. A lot of Klaus’ interactions with people who did drugs went like this. Their conversation started and ended with using. The moment that both of them had what they wanted, there was no reason to speak anymore. It was almost nice, not feeling like he had to converse. In any and all situations in life, Klaus liked to talk. He had a lot to say, opinions to speak, jokes to make, and his constant drug use didn’t exactly help his filter. Talking out loud helped the ghosts, too. Silence terrified him. But in moments like this, he didn’t mind it as much. Especially since he had gotten his ass kicked once or twice for talking too much in these situations. 

“Where do you get your stuff?” Klaus finally asked, breaking the silence that Lee had seemed content to keep as well. The man seemed considerably less jittery at this point, hands not moving as rapidly across his pants and own arms. It made Klaus wonder exactly what Lee’s deal was, and the question almost slipped out before he could stop himself. It was clear he wasn’t an addict like Klaus. He’d heard of PTSD, of course, but that was called post traumatic stress disorder for a reason. It was supposed to be after the fact. Not while they were still there. 

“Villages we go to missions in. Saigon. Danang. Hue. Anywhere we go, honestly. The locals will take most anything for drugs. American occupation has been great for business,” he spoke quickly, words coming out short and fast, with jittery laughter finishing off his sentence, “even though we blow up all their shit.” 

Klaus took a moment to process everything that Lee said. He spoke too fast for Klaus to keep up with at times, especially with his brain filling up with fog. For a while, he had been able to forget where they were, or specifically when, but the mention of the cities and villagers and bombs were enough to bring him back to reality. He had to get the hell out of here. The memory of the brief fighting he had encountered the night before came back to him, and he knew he wasn’t strong enough to go through that again. It could happen tonight, or the next night, or a week from now, but it didn’t matter. He would never be able to make it through again, especially if they actually expected him to fight. Playing with guns with Dave was one thing, but actually getting out there and shooting someone was completely different. It was clear that Lee didn’t notice that Klaus was having a mini existential crisis directly across from him, and Klaus was sure that he hardly even noticed when he simply walked away from him. It wasn’t a long walk back to the tent, but just before he went in, he snuffed the joint out under the heel of his boot. Even if Lee was telling the truth and people around here just didn’t care about using, there was still something about even smoking in front of Dave that put him off. The longer he could keep Dave in the dark about his little habit, the better. So far though, he was pretty sure the pill popping had made it pretty damn obvious. 

With a groan, Klaus pushed the tent flaps aside. He ran his hand through his hair on the way over to his cot, ruffling a lot harder than seemed normal. Again, no one really seemed to pay attention to his weird habits, but after talking to Lee for forty five seconds, it was pretty clear why. So far, he hadn’t revealed himself to be the crazy one in the group. It was the longest he had ever gone without being treated like an outsider, and it felt good. Being here felt good. Even the horrors of being in the medical tent earlier felt distant. He could deal with that every once in a while if he could just feel normal the rest of the time. Not like some freakshow. Not the drug addict brother. Not the waste of space that he was. Just Klaus. 

But he was all of those things. They were going to reveal themselves sooner or later, and he didn’t really want to be around to see the look on Dave’s face when he realized it. That, and also the fact that the thought of actually killing another human being horrified him. He had seen a lot of death in his life. He knew what happened after, and it wasn’t pretty. He couldn’t willingly subject someone to that. Plus, people he didn’t even know haunted him now. He couldn’t imagine how bad it would be if he was haunted by someone that he had actually wronged. Ben didn’t count. 

On his way to his cot, he had fully made up his mind. That night, he was going to open the briefcase, and see what would happen. He, of course, had no idea if anything at all would happen. Even if something did, he had no idea where he was going to be sent. It could be somewhere worse than this, which was a very real possibility. So far, Vietnam hadn’t been too bad, and he should be counting his blessings that he didn’t get sent into the apocalypse like Five had been. But he had to try. He had to. 

The second he got back to his cot, his mind came to a screeching halt, all plans put on a shelf. There was Dave, just like the night before, stripping out of his gear from the day, just down to his pants and dog tags. It was a stupid thing for Klaus to get hung up about, of course. He had already seen Dave shirtless before, and there were about thirty other sweaty, shirtless men walking about the tent around him. Just seeing Dave taking his shirt off and wiping his face off with it shouldn’t have made Klaus stop in his tracks, but it did. He felt like he did the first time he had gotten out of the academy and saw someone besides his brothers and sisters for the first time. Like an idiot. Luckily Klaus had enough time to pull his shit together before Dave turned around, smiling widely at him. He caught the change in expression as quickly as it came, from rather stoic and concentrated to that big puppy dog look, like he had been missing him every second he had been away. 

Shit. 

“How’d the talk with Lee go?” he asked, bending over to shove his shirt in his duffle bag. Klaus took the opportunity of Dave looking away from him to head over to his own cot, pretending he knew what was going on. Most of the men seemed to be winding down for the night, most of them smoking, some of them talking, a couple playing cards, a few even writing or reading letters. At the moment, things seemed pretty calm. He knew that wouldn’t last, but he would soak it up while he could. If he had some time to just hang out, he would take the opportunity. 

“Oh! Pretty good, actually. He’s addicted to drugs, apparently, which is like a roaring good time. I had pretty much had that figured out at dinner, you know, with the old jitters, but it was nice to hear him confirm it for me,” he rambled, practically falling back onto his cot. Dave’s idea of stripping down seemed like a pretty good one to him, and he soon followed suit, taking off the helmet he had been wearing all day, and then his boots. Most of this was taken off with loud, content noises. He hadn’t realized just how encumbered he had felt all day. Back home, he rarely even wore shoes. When his gaze lifted back up to Dave, the man was staring at him in that same intense way, but this time when Klaus met it, he looked away. A small smile came to Klaus’ face at that, even if he wasn’t sure what it meant. 

“Yeah, a lot of the guys here have.. Substance issues,” Dave said, his voice quiet and delicate, as if he wasn’t trying to be hurtful. It almost made Klaus laugh. The other man sat down on the bed across from Klaus, still holding his shirt in his hand. “The officers don’t really care, you know? I mean, not when we were just doing search and destroy missions at least. Some of them said that we’re doing more serious work up here in the valley. That we’re actually here for a reason.” 

Klaus watched Dave carefully for a moment, nodding at what he said. It was hard to tell where he stood at times. At the surface, Dave was a good soldier, but then he would say things like that, and it made Klaus have to reevaluate what he had thought before. The rant when they were practicing firing their guns came back to him, made him wonder even more what was going on in his head. 

“Not you though?” he asked, a little teasing smile coming across his face. Dave smiled back at Klaus, before dipping his head a little. 

“No, not me. Never been one to try to numb myself.” Klaus hummed for a moment at that response, resisting the urge to scratch at his arms. Just talking about it made him restless. Dave didn’t seem to have an issue with people doing drugs, considering the fact that he was good friends with Lee, but he also didn’t seem too keen on the idea of it. Klaus was silent for a moment, and he could tell that Dave was watching him quietly. When he continued, his voice was even gentler than before. “I don’t blame the ones who do it, though. We see a lot of shit here. A lot of them pretend they do it just because it’s fun but.. I can see it in their eyes. Especially the ones that have been here a long time. They’re just trying to make things a little bit more bearable.” 

Klaus’ heart was stuck in his throat, making it impossible for him to get any words out, or even swallow. It hurt, and it felt good, and it was scary. No one had ever said anything like that before to him. No one who wasn’t being paid to, at least. And Dave didn’t even know yet. 

They looked at each other, and briefly, Klaus wondered if he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this update came a week late! i hope everyone enjoys! if you'd like you can follow me at autumnalklaus on twitter, i'll post updates if you want them, and i always tweet how the chapters are coming along and approximately when they'll be up :)


	4. a brief interlude

That strange mural of idealism that Klaus had painted throughout his first full day in Vietnam was just as easily washed away as it had been made. He knew that he was getting too far ahead of himself. A warzone was no place to find a home. His loose grip on reality from the drugs, lack of sleep and torture had finally turned into a noose arond his neck, and was dragging him violently across the floor. 

This noose was formed by the noise of thunder. Except it wasn’t thunder, it was bombs. Klaus had been greeted by them on his immediate arrival, but after all that had happened throughout the day, it was easy to forget that. It was much more fun to get caught up in the way that Dave looked at him, and in the fact that the people here didn’t look at him like he was something that needed to be thrown away. All of that goodness was drowned out by the shaking of the ground beneath him, and the rumbling that filled his ears. It was relentless. No one else seemed to care, or even notice. Klaus, on the other hand, was woken up violently at the first bomb that dropped. It wasn’t like he was sleeping peacefully anyway. There weren’t nearly enough drugs in his system to keep his nightmares at bay, but the warmth of Dave in the bed next to him had lulled him enough to at least reach some state of rest. 

Immediately after jolting up in bed, his eyes scanned the room, searching to see what everyone else was doing. Clearly, they had to be doing something. The night before, everyone had been up, scrambling to go and fight. It made sense to Klaus that the same thing would be happening now, but as far as he could see, everyone was still sleeping. The most movement he saw was one man at the far end of the tent roll over in his cot, inconvenienced at most. The sight completely baffled him. Everything from growing up in the Academy was screaming at him to go, get dressed, get ready for a fight. Even if he didn’t listen to that instinct, even as a child, it was still there, and he was anticipating Reginald to come flying through the tent flaps at any moment. Just the thought of that made his skin crawl. 

It crawled all over his body. Creeped up the back of his neck, made his hair stand up, creating goosebumps all over his skin. The next rattling boom of thunder made his whole body jerk, hands flying up to cover his ears. The crawling, shaking, horrible feeling creeped its way around his neck, into his lungs, until they were tight and constricted, breaths hard to come by. 

Not here, not like this, not again. 

He could try to convince himself that it was just thunder, but his instincts knew better. 

There was no point in trying to choke it back. He had tried. It never worked. 

Instead, Klaus found himself scrambling out of bed, easily launching him body up and out, before stumbling down the center of the tent. No one seemed to notice that he was up, but even if they had, Klaus wouldn’t have cared. He needed to get out of there, to breathe some real air, not drenched in the blood and death that surrounded every man fast asleep in cots around him. 

With a gasp, he emerged from the tent, slapping at the flaps until he was free of them. A brief thought came to his mind that he wished Ben were here. That brief thought soon turned into a quiet, desperate one, that had him sinking his knees into the soft dirt. Ben would be calming. He would tell him it was okay, even when it wasn’t. He would try to comfort him and talk him down even if he knew it wouldn’t work. He would just be there. His hands hung limply at his side, occasionally folding into loose fists as he attempted to calm himself down. The air was cleaner out here, but the noise still sent shockwaves into the ground around him, up through his knees, rattling his ribcage, his heart, his lungs. It tightened his throat and made his eyes sting, and more than anything he desperately wanted to be numb. 

His shaking hands dug into the pocket of the pants that he had been given, Dave’s pants, but they came up empty. He had left the bottle of pills inside, and he hadn’t taken any of Lee’s joints earlier. In order to get the relief he needed, he would need to go back inside. Unfortunately, he knew what lay back there. It wasn’t just hot, but it was loud, each man surrounded by at least two soldiers, Vietnamese or American. There was no telling, really, not after death. The thought had Klaus’ hands coming up to scrub at his face, as if he could wash the images off of his eyes. It never worked before, but each time, he decided to try it again. 

The same thing. Again and again and again. 

He wasn’t sure how long he sat like that. His panic attacks didn’t discriminate. They came and went as they pleased, leaving him desperately gasping for air as the water rose around him, but never giving him the relief of just drowning. It could’ve gone on for hours, until the morning, at least, until the bombing stopped. 

And then it didn’t. 

“Klaus?” 

Klaus jumped at the sound of his name, falling to one side, a hand coming up to cover his chest. He could feel his heart trying to escape from where it lay. 

“Christ on a cracker, you scared me,” he exclaimed, glistening eyes looking up to meet worried ones. No, no, he didn’t want Dave to see him like this. It was too soon, too much, and Dave was going to call him a baby, tell him to man up and move on, and Klaus would have to take his chances with the briefcase and- 

“Are you okay?” 

His voice was soft. It was kind. He sounded gentle, like he was talking to a terrified animal. It was a voice made to soothe, and immediately, Klaus could see clearer. 

“Oh I’m okay, I just wanted to.. Meditate,” he eventually answered, voice viscous. It was clear that Dave saw through the bullshit and let the joke fly over his head, opting to duck under it, sinking to the ground right next to him. The act had Klaus staring. 

“Do you want a cigarette?” 

“Apparently they’re really bad for you.” 

“You believe that shit?” 

Dave grinned at Klaus. 

Silently, Dave dug into his pants pocket, presenting a cigarette box and lighter with a slight flourish. Klaus couldn’t help the small smile that formed at that, even though his heart was still racing in his chest. Dave pulled a cigarette out with a matching smile, before handing it over to Klaus. As soon as he took it, he pulled another out for himself, before stuffing the box back in his pocket. Klaus waited a beat for Dave to hand him the lighter, but froze as Dave reached out to do it himself. He held his hand still, careful to note how close they were together, before nodding in thanks as it lit up. Dave then lit his own, sticking it between his lips with a sigh. 

Klaus watched each and every one of these movements very carefully. 

He tore his eyes away from the other man in order to put his own cigarette in his mouth, closing his eyes at the first pull. It was far from his drug of choice, but it was better than having nothing in his system at all. Plus, he could imagine that the cigarette was still warm from where Dave had been touching it. 

It was their first real silent moment together. There were plenty more to come, of course, but Klaus wouldn’t know that yet. For now, he appreciated it. It wasn’t uncomfortable. In fact, it was perfectly comfortable. It made Klaus’ heart stop trying to pick its way out of his chest. The constant bombing seemed to fade into the background, Dave’s presence able to drown out the noise. He felt at relative peace. 

“They’re not like American ones,” Dave finally said when his cigarette was gone, snubbing it out on the ground next to him, “I like them better though, I think.” 

“Isn’t that treason?” Dave chuckled but said nothing else. Klaus blew smoke into the air between them while watching Dave’s movements, before snuffing his cigarette out as well. He wasn’t going to talk with it in his mouth or his hands. It didn’t seem right to give half his attention to a drug, and the other half to Dave. 

“I’m just happy for the distraction.” It was supposed to come out wry, like his pain was ironic, but instead the statement clunked down heavily between them, pulling his mood down with it. 

“I’m happy I could be one.” Klaus’ gaze moved up from where he was staring at the burnt out cigarettes, meeting Dave’s eyes heavily. Why did he always say stuff like that?” 

“When did you notice I left?” he asked instead. 

“Right before I came out. One of the shells hit pretty close by, when I woke up you weren’t there,” he looked back down at the ground between them, giving one shoulder a shrug, “I got a little worried I dreamt up the whole last day.” A smile came across half his face, which only widened when he met Klaus’ eye again. “I had to make sure that you were still here. It would’ve been easy to convince myself nothing from the last day was real. You kinda fell right out of the sky.” 

Klaus let out a full laugh, looking at the dark expanse in front of them, trying not to wonder what was hidden in those trees. 

“You have no idea,” he said, smirking a little, and refused to acknowledge the curious look on Dave’s face. 

A few beats of silence. 

“Operation Rolling Thunder. One hell of a lullaby.” 

Klaus turned to Dave, a bit of a confused look on his face. When he noticed, he gestured around him, waving his hand rather randomly. “The bombing campaign. You didn’t follow the war much before you got here, did you?” Klaus shook his head, trying to contain a laugh. “It’s all the time. Nonstop. Supposed to make the Cong scared. See our firepower and make them want to back down.” Dave stopped, beginning to draw random shapes in the dirt between them. 

“Does it work?” Dave let out a little huff of laughter, smiling sadly at the shapes. 

“I think it scares our guys more than it scares them,” he looked back up at Klaus, sympathy on his face, “that’s what woke you up, right? Couldn’t stand the noise?” 

Klaus had to turn back away then, less afraid of the darkness than his own vulnerability. 

“Something like that.” 

“Yeah, I figured. Takes most guys about a month to get used to it, so I’ve heard. I’ve been here about.. Month and a half. Still wakes me up some nights. I meant what I said, though. You’ll adjust. It gets easier.” For a moment, Dave’s hand twitched where it sat, fingers stretching to Klaus before resuming their drawing. There were lots of questions Klaus wanted to ask. Why he came out to check on him, why he stayed, why he gave him a cigarette, why he lit Klaus’ cigarette for him, why he seemed to care about him, why he bothered spending time with someone who was so obviously a useless junkie who had no business being in a war zone in 1960 whatever. None of Dave made sense. Klaus wanted to make sense of him. He just needed to pick a point and start. He had made it clear he was an open book, but Klaus was too much of a coward to move past the first page. 

“You can always wake me up, if you need it,” Dave suddenly said, voice more tentative than Klaus had heard before. It was strange enough to pull his attention away from his hand, looking at him curiously. Dave, however, refused to meet his gaze. “Or you can just steal my cigarettes. They’re always under my cot in my-” 

“I’ll take you and your cigarettes,” he answered, smiling widely at him, finally getting him to look up from his drawing, “thank you. You don’t have to do any of this, you know. I hate that I’m keeping you awake.” 

“You’re not keeping me from anything, Klaus. I came out here on my own, and I’m offering for you to wake me up whenever you want. You don’t have to apologize for taking something I’m giving.” That simple statement made Klaus’ stomach flip, made him realize that he hadn’t been given anything in a very long time. Stealing was normally the best option. 

“Fine, then I’m never letting you sleep again.” Dave laughed, before shrugging. 

“I wouldn’t mind that.” 

Klaus cleared his throat, shuffling his legs into a criss-cross position. 

“Well, if I’m keeping you up, I might as well ask you some questions,” Dave’ lips twitched into a smile, “you’ve only been here for two months?” 

“I’m not sure that really qualifies as a question-” 

“I’m clarifying, okay? It seems like you’re a lot more seasoned than that.” 

“Uh, thanks. Yeah, I got drafted in..” Dave stopped talking then, looking at Klaus precariously, to which Klaus only responded with a confused look, “sorry, some of the guys here are a little weird when I say I was drafted. Most of us were, but… it can still be a dodgy subject.” 

Klaus didn’t want to laugh, since Dave looked so uncomfortable, but he really couldn’t stop it from roaring out of him. 

“Do I look like I came here voluntarily? I don’t care if you were drafted, although it does surprise me.” 

Dave looked both relieved and amused by the statement, some tension falling out of his body. 

“My dad was a soldier, was really active in World War II, so I was kind of raised in that mentality. My brother was older in that time though. He remembers it a lot more than I do. He’s a lot like my father,” he paused, and for once, Klaus saw a bit of resistance to vulnerability from him. Looks like he wasn’t the only one with family issues. “Anyway, I was drafted in December, trained in basic for a few weeks, got my orders, went to advanced, then showed up here just before March.” 

“How long do you have?” Klaus wasn’t sure what he wanted the answer to that question to be. 

“A year, same as everyone else.” The statement seemed to drain the life out of Dave, and for once, Klaus didn’t want to go digging. This subject was personal. Even if Dave was offering the information, Klaus didn’t feel comfortable taking it. Not yet, at least. 

“Do we know what our uh, mission is?” 

Dave smiled a little, like that was an inside joke. 

“We’re getting a briefing tomorrow. There’s a rumor we’re doing a bit more serious work up here. They moved us North for a reason.” 

Klaus felt a little hesitant at that, but didn’t let the panic sweep over him again. He had gotten it under control. Well, Dave had. He didn’t want to lose it again. 

“If I was the responsible one I’d suggest we head back to sleep,” Klaus drawled, grinning lopsidedly at Dave, who shook his head in amusement. 

“Does that make me the responsible one then?” Klaus nodded, giving him a tight lipped smile. “Fine.” Dave stood then, pushing himself up off his knees, before reaching down, offering Klaus a hand. Briefly, Klaus paused, before clasping the other man’s hand in his own, letting his body be lifted, standing in front of him. It was rough, and covered in dirt, but Klaus still let the touch linger longer than he should have. He knew he was going back in to face the dead again, but it didn’t seem too unbearable. There were pills waiting for him, and Dave to walk in front of him. 

They walked in silence back to their cots. A brief look was exchanged between them once they reached them, something on Dave’s face that Klaus couldn’t get a handle on. Before he got a chance to, there were pills in his mouth, and he allowed himself to be lulled to sleep by the song of rolling thunder.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so patient on this next chapter. I had to take a break from the fandom, one that hasn't really ended yet, but this fic is my baby. I don't associate it with the fandom, just the characters I love and what I love to do. I haven't written any more since I've been on hiatus, but I figured I could still post what I had written until I run out. Hopefully I'll pick up writing again. Thank you guys again. It's a short one, but I hope you enjoy.

The briefing that Dave had clued him in on the day before happened early in the morning. They were woken up at the crack of dawn, but Klaus wasn’t even sure if he had slept at all. By the time he and Dave had gotten back to their cots, it was nearly sunrise, and although Klaus had fallen asleep when he got back, it was far from restful. He was in a strange state between awake and dreaming, not sure if the people screaming at him were the dead soldiers around him, or the ghosts from his past. Either way, he felt like complete shit when he woke up. He had gotten better rest on the bus ride into camp. That could have definitely been attributed to the fact that Dave was an excellent pillow. At points, he had to physically restrain himself from saying things like that to him. Most of the time, Klaus said exactly what was on his mind, whenever the thoughts came to him. He wasn’t sure he could blame that on the drugs, since he had been doing that basically since he could talk. Here though, he knew it was different. Most of the time the worst thing that could come from him not shutting his mouth was being sent to prison, or rehab. Now, though, he didn’t know what those types of comments would grant him. Even if Dave seemed to be pretty amazing, this was still nineteen-sixty-whatever. He didn’t really want to get beat up by the only person who had been willing to listen to him in the past twenty nine years. He may have been dumb, but he wasn’t that stupid. Dave didn’t seem to mind that Klaus didn’t like to wear a shirt, though, so that was a plus.  
Although Dave told Klaus that he was new here, it seemed like he was in on the going ons of camp. Seemingly he was the only one who even knew that this briefing was going to be happening. Even throughout all of these conversations, Dave had stayed relatively quiet. O’Brien was the only one besides himself that seemed to even notice. Neither of them had said anything, though, and Klaus made a mental note to talk to him later about what that could possibly mean. Although Klaus wanted to think that he knew Dave pretty well, the reality of it was that he knew the man for just over twenty four hours. There were a lot of things that they hadn’t told each other yet, and a lot of things that they had to figure out.

Comments attempting to lighten Dave’s mood escaped his mouth at a regular interval. Like at the briefing, where he knew he was supposed to be quiet, and everyone around him was being quiet, but he couldn’t quite muster up the self control to do just that. 

Most of his unrelenting urge to make jokes and laugh every single time the officer said the word “duty” came from the extraordinarily serious tone that fell over the soldiers as soon as they had been called to attention. Breakfast had passed just the same as dinner, each and every man acting loud and rowdy, smoking, filling the room with a haze of comradery and fog. The second that one of the higher ranking officials announced they would be having a briefing, that haze had immediately been sucked up, leaving a vacuum of silence in its place. 

“Oh, is that the king of this place?” Klaus had asked rather loudly, earning him a stern look from O’Brien, one that was telling him to shut the fuck up. Klaus made a loud gasping noise, putting a hand over his mouth. “Is it more of a Voldemort, he who must not be named, type of situation then?” 

The looks that he got in return for that reference reminded him that, oh yeah, those books wouldn’t be written for another forty years. Not that he had been allowed to read them, anyway. Most of his references he got from Ben. The man up front had finished talking by the time that Klaus had shut up, leaving most of what he had said long from his mind. Not that he was really actually interested in what he was saying, nor did he care, but everyone around him, including Dave, seemed to be sobered up. It was a lot less fun than it had been just moments ago. 

“So, a briefing, huh?” Klaus finally said, tapping his hands nervously on the table, “do you think there’ll be snacks?” 

The rest of the men around him looked to Klaus, and the only one who didn’t look severely pissed was Dave. 

“What?” he asked, expression turning defensive, “what’s going on?” 

“I got this one, boys,” O’Brien said suddenly, standing up out of his seat, a movement that Dave mirrored. For a moment, the two of them debated something silently. 

“Fine,” Dave finally said, before looking back to Klaus, almost apologetically, “uh, O’Brien’s got some stuff he wants to talk to you about.” The next look he gave him was almost pleading, so desperate that Klaus couldn’t help but nod. It’s not like he didn’t like O’Brien. Out of the rest of the guys, he seemed to be the closest to Dave. But really, he just wanted to talk to Dave. Whatever conversation they were about to have, he was certain it could be held with him. 

“I mean, you’re no Dave, but I guess you'll do,” he finally agreed, standing up and nodding at Dave once, before following O’Brien out of the tent. 

Klaus’ stomach turned a little as they exited, staring at the rigid shoulders of O’Brien in front of him. The whole place seemed to tense up, talking more of a murmur. The strange attitude had fallen over everyone, not just his circle of people. It made his palms sweat and his head feel lighter, and made the dead crying around him that much louder. Just before they made it outside, Klaus ate another pill. He figured he would need it for this conversation. For a moment, O’Brien sat quietly, just pulling out his pack of cigarettes. Klaus took the one that was offered to him, lighting his own before handing it back to O’Brien. 

“Well, if we were just gonna smoke, we could’ve done it inside, you know.” 

“You’re not a military guy, Hargreeves. That’s pretty easy to see,” he said suddenly, stuffing the lighter back in his pocket, voice slightly lisped from the cigarette in his mouth. 

“What on earth would give you that indication?” Klaus gasped, a shit eating grin coming over his face. For a moment, O’Brien just stared at him, eliciting a groan from deep within Klaus’ chest. “Would you get on with it, Timmy? Whatever you have to say, I’m all ears. Honest to Reginald.” Ben would’ve thought that one was funny. 

“We’ve lost a lot of guys,” the simple statement was enough to shut Klaus up, “and we haven’t even been doing much yet. I know you don’t know shit about war, like I said, it’s not hard to tell you haven’t seen much of it.” 

“Oh, I’m sure I’ve seen much more than you think.” 

“I thought you said you were all ears?” They paused for a moment, staring at one another. Klaus’ lips had tightened, as had all of the muscles in his body, and he was dying to tell O’Brien that he didn’t know shit about what he had been through, about what he had fucking seen. Somehow, he kept his mouth shut, if only because he was curious about what he was going to say. “This next mission we’re going on, it’s not like anything we’ve been doing before. We know we’re getting moved up north for a reason. We’re not just going through towns looking for communists anymore. If men are dying when they’re doing that, men are sure as hell gonna die when we do something a lot more serious. D’you understand?” 

“And I’m responsible for the lives of these soldiers?” 

“You’re responsible for respecting the fact that this is gonna be hard on everyone, including yourself. You’re gonna need to learn how to handle that,” O’Brien stopped then, looking down as he inhaled smoke, “it’s hard on Dave. He takes things personally. Thinks it’s his fault when something happens to people. Especially people he cares about. In his first week here, we got caught up in the Tet Offensive. It’s only gonna get worse for him from here. I can tell you two are getting close already. That’s why I’m telling you this. I don’t give a shit if you crack jokes during briefings, or fuck around when an officer is talking. Just don’t hurt him more than he needs to be hurt.” 

Klaus stared at O’Brien. He took a pull from his cigarette, before dropping it on the ground, digging in with his heel. 

“Thanks for the pep talk. Really got me jazzed to go into war,” he grinned, “thanks for the cigarette.” 

Then he turned around, and pushed his way back through the tent flaps to Dave. 

*** 

The briefing, as everyone so lovingly called it, happened immediately after breakfast. Of course, Klaus didn’t know this until they were already on their way, because he hadn’t exactly been paying attention when the officer had been talking. His little conversation with O’Brien wasn’t mentioned again, besides the one comment Klaus made about him feeling like he was taking O’Brien’s daughter out to prom. He was grateful that Dave didn’t question him further. He wasn’t sure what he would say if he had. O’Brien could already see that Klaus was pretty much obsessed with all things Dave, and although he wasn’t being subtle about it, he didn’t think he was a walking neon sign that said ‘I’m Gay and Stupid.’ 

Well. Not here, at least. 

Either way, it wasn’t a conversation he wanted to talk about for many reasons. 

One of those was that O’Brien said that they cared about each other. Ie, Dave cared about him as well. Even if Klaus wasn’t entirely sure he believed it, it did put a bit of a dent in his plans. Unfortunately, he had begun to care about Dave a great deal, and if O’Brien was right, the last thing he wanted to do was leave him. At first, Klaus believed that no one would even notice if he was gone, they would probably assume he had just deserted, or died in a firefight, but now.. He didn’t want to hurt Dave. He didn’t want Dave to think he had died, or that he was the type of person to abandon the fight, leave everyone else behind. All the other people he had ever cared for already thought he was a bad person. Even if Dave only existed in his memory, knowing that he thought that about him too would be unbearable. Dave was going to be the only person in his life that he would never let down. That much was clear to him already. 

He was so stuck in these feelings, that for the first half of the briefing, he forgot to pay attention again. It wasn’t really his fault that his mind wandered so much. Not only were there always voices, however faint, talking to him in the background, he was also still kind of high. Not as high as he would like, but high enough that the officer’s voice made him giggle and tune out at the same time. He was pretty sure that he zoned back in around the time that Officer Voldemort mentioned a helicopter. 

“Wait, we’re flying?” Klaus burst out, remembering at the last second to be quiet enough that he wouldn’t get in trouble. Dave’s attention was easily transferred to Klaus, though it was clear he was still trying to pay attention to what was being said. 

“Yes.. why?” 

“I just.. I haven’t been in the sky in a while.” That was an understatement. The last time Klaus had been on a plane, he and his siblings were on their last mission ever. Things had gone south, to say the least, and ever since then.. Well, Klaus didn’t exactly have the motivation to get on a plane for a nice vacation. He hadn’t even left the city since that night. Klaus could feel his heat start racing faster at just the thought of that night, of the scene, of the plane ride home, that he barely noticed the strange way that Dave was looking at him. After a double take, Klaus finally caught his eye, giving him a dramatized version of the stare he was receiving. 

“What?” 

“You were on a plane two days ago. To get here,” Dave said simply, looking bewildered, and not in a cute way. Klaus couldn’t help the nervous laughter that escaped him, this time loud enough for a couple people around him to glance his way, before he caught himself and ducked his head. 

“Uh, yeah, right,” he mumbled, “must have slipped my mind, you know, since I was moments from death after I landed.” Dave gave him a strange look, but thankfully seemed to accept his answer. He returned his gaze back up to the officer, but by that point, they were pretty much done talking. 

From what Klaus gathered, they were going to be flying into the valley in a couple of days, at a landing zone known as Tiger. Their mission was to take back control of the valley from the Vietnamese. Each platoon would be assigned a different way of accomplishing this goal, but those specifics flew over Klaus’ head. All of this information was completely unreliable, of course, since Klaus hadn’t been paying attention for ninety percent of it. He was impressed that he even recalled that much. It didn’t really matter, anyway. If he had any questions, that was what Dave was there for. The brief thought that Dave might get annoyed at him for asking so many questions was quickly squashed at the reminder that Dave had often urged him to ask them. It was almost like he liked to answer things for Klaus, give him a little guidance. It made him wonder what Dave thought of their friendship. 

If he could even call it that. 

It had been a really long time since Klaus had a friend. It was a strange thought to have. But when Klaus looked at Dave, he knew that it was true. Dave looked at him like he actually cared. Past all the bullshit and the sneers and the cigarettes and drugs. 

Dave was his friend.


	6. Chapter 6

The rest of the day was designed to wear Klaus out. The morning had started rather laid back, and he assumed the rest of the day would follow suit. It wasn’t like they had done much the day before, either. As soon as he started to head back to their tent, to hopefully snatch up some more weed from Lee, Dave had grabbed his arm, shaking his head. Immediately after, a whistle sounded out, and Klaus felt like Pavlov’s dog. His back had straightened up, and he could practically feel his father glaring at him from across the Academy. Except this wasn’t The Academy, and he wasn’t a dog, and his father was dead. He had quickly let his posture relax, but it didn’t last long.

Training was basically his childhood all over again, except this time, he didn’t care if he disappointed anyone. The first time he didn’t really care either, but it took him about twelve years to get to that point. Now, the only person’s opinion that he cared about was Dave’s. Unfortunately for him, they spent most of the day apart. Apparently the army didn’t think ‘but I like Dave so he should be near me at all times’ was a good enough excuse to change which group you were a part of. On one hand, it was nice that Klaus didn’t feel like he had to be on his best behavior all day. There was no one around to impress, and he could fuck around with O’Brien all day if he wanted to. On the other hand, Dave wasn’t there. 

So many pros and cons. 

Either way, at the end of it all, Klaus was exhausted. By the time that they were through running weapons checks, jogging around camp, running through possible scenarios, Klaus felt like he wanted to take each of his individual limbs off. The last time he had done this much exercise he was in a school uniform and wearing a tacky mask. The only time since then that he had run was when it was away from cops. Although it was nice to see Dave after a whole day apart, he didn’t have much energy left to hold a conversation. Most of the other guys seemed to feel the same way, at least. Dinner was quieter throughout the hall, not just at their table. O’Brien commented that it seemed like everyone had suddenly remembered that they weren’t at sleepaway camp. 

Even with all of the running, push ups, sit ups, and mental gymnastics, Klaus woke up as soon as the bombing started. 

The noise tore at his lungs and snatched his breath, even if it wasn’t as violent as the night before. He thought that he might even be able to steal the breath back, but suddenly it was more than just the bombs taking it. There was a man sitting on the edge of his bed, facing away from him. Half of him looked like a regular guy. If Klaus had been sitting on his right side, he might have been able to have a conversation with him. But the left told a different story. His clothes were seared to his body, blood and singed skin marring the features Klaus could see so clearly on the other half of his face. For a moment, Klaus simply took the man in, trying as best as he could to be quiet, to keep from letting him know that he could see him. As quick as Klaus had that thought, the man swiveled around, turning to the side enough that Klaus could trick himself into believing he was a normal man. The movement was enough for Klaus to react though, therefore making the man realize that he could be seen, and the yelling started. 

Like a bullet, Klaus shot out of bed, not caring if he was being quiet. He threw himself to the end of Lee’s cot, digging through his bag for anything. Noises were rattling around in his head as the soldier cried out to him, chased him across the room and sobbed. He was asking for something, but Klaus couldn’t listen, he didn’t want to, and instead tried to focus on finding something to make it go away. At the first sight of the cigarette tin, Klaus closed his fist on it, before sprinting outside of the tent, heart thudding against his chest. He held back a whimper once he made it out, hands shaking around the container. Luckily, he had had some practice in opening boxes under duress, and quickly found his way inside. It was just then that he realized he hadn’t grabbed a lighter, and getting one would mean going back inside, back to where the soldier was inevitably waiting for him. There was no way he could go back in sober, but those were his only options, unless he wanted to just eat the joint and see what happened. 

As he was considering that, the tent flap opened. 

Klaus jumped at the movement, before attempting to cover up his jitteriness by running a hand through his hair. 

“Dave,” he sighed, small smile forming on his lips. It was shaky at best, and he knew it. It was hard for him to bullshit around him, especially this late at night, and this sober. 

“You’re lucky I’m the only one who woke up,” he said in lew of greeting, matching the little smile on his face, before looking down to see what Klaus was holding. At this point, he didn’t even try to hide it. He had stolen from Lee’s pack, and was very obviously wanting to get high, and there was just no way to talk Dave into believing otherwise. If Dave wanted to turn away, he had every opportunity to. 

“You got a light? Klaus asked, all shakiness shoved back down into his chest. This time he was the one who had a firm grip on his lungs. After a beat, Dave nodded, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a lighter. “You’re very dependable. You a boy scout? What’s that motto… always be prepared or some shit?” 

Dave’s smile pulled a little wider, even though he tried to hide it. He reached over to light the joint for Klaus, and it took a lot of effort to keep calm under the close contact. Dave’s hand was close enough to Klaus’ face and hands that he could just reach out and touch. It would be so easy, easier than breathing. Instead, he breathed, smoke in, smoke out. His breath was unsteady with relief. 

“It’s just ‘be prepared.’ I don’t think you’re allowed to swear in the Boy Scouts.” 

“Oh but my dear Dave, you did not answer the question that I asked. Were you a Boy Scout or not?” 

Dave stuffed the lighter back into his pocket, along with both of his hands, letting out a slight huff. Klaus’ face split into a searing smile, having to restrain himself from giggling with delight. 

“You so were! Did you get patches? Did you wear those cute little shorts and the hat? Please tell me you wore the hat.” 

“Yes, fine, I was a boy scout,” Dave finally gave in, sighing, keeping his eyes up to the sky like that would save him from the embarrassment Klaus was going to force him to endure. 

“You have to tell me everything, do you carry photos? If not, how likely is it that your mom will send some for me to look at?” 

Dave couldn’t help but laugh, looking over to Klaus and shaking his head. It made Klaus beam, seeing how amused he was from his teasing. His heart ached with affection. 

“I don’t carry photos. I’m sure my mom would love to send photos, but I would never ask her for some, and I won’t let you ever get her address,” he responded, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, finally letting himself relax again. He lit up his own, seemingly unbothered by Klaus smoking a joint, but not wanting to join him. 

“I don’t think the Boy Scouts would like you doing that,” Klaus teased, grinning as he took a pull from his own drug. 

“Well, I’m not one any more. I think that they stop controlling your actions after you’ve been free of them for a few years.” 

“It’s not like that with parents, why should it be like that with the Boy Scouts?” Dave puffed out laughter and smoke, running his free hand through his curls. 

“Anyway, you’re one to talk,” Dave deflected, nodding to the joint, “did you get into Lee’s stash?” He phrased it as a question just to be polite. Klaus was sure that he had woken the other man up the moment that he threw himself out of his bed. Either way, it made Klaus’ hair stand up. Before Klaus could answer, though, Dave was continuing, and Klaus could see that he had hunched over. He was refusing to make eye contact. “I’m sorry about what I said last night. I didn’t mean anything by it, I just-” 

“Hey, it doesn’t bother me, as long as it doesn’t bother you, you know, talking to someone that’s numb all the time.” Klaus meant it as a joke, and it came across as one, but Dave gave him a look that showed it didn’t hit its mark. 

“You’re not numb.” 

Klaus let out a loud laugh, covering his hand with his chest. He shook his head, wiping away a fake tear, before shaking his head at Dave. 

“That’s a good one. You really got me.” Dave’s expression hadn’t changed, and it was beginning to unnerve Klaus. “Do you not like it when I laugh at your jokes?” 

“I don’t believe you think that it was one.” 

Klaus’ happy go lucky expression snapped into a scowl, before he took his last hit off his joint, dropping it to the ground and crushing it under his foot. “What do you know about me then, Dave?” As soon as the words were out, Klaus felt horrible. He saw Dave’s expression crumple, every emotion written clearly on his face. He didn’t hide anything. He didn’t bother wearing a mask like Klaus did. Dave was being vulnerable, and Klaus was too much of an ass handle emotional intimacy. “Fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mea-” 

“No, y-you’re right. I’m overstepping. I hardly know you, I shouldn’t be saying things I know nothing about.” Dave’s voice was rocky, movements jerky as he also dropped his cigarette, busying himself with burying it in the dirt. Klaus was grateful he didn’t walk away. He needed a moment to gather his courage. 

“I..” he kept his head down, even as Dave tried to look at him, “I don’t like being seen.” 

Another silence fell between them, and Klaus prepared himself for a conversation. Dave was going to try to dig in and figure out what that meant, get his hands dirtied in the murky depths of his soul before realizing he didn’t have one anymore, if he ever even had one to begin with. He didn’t want it, but he was willing to subject himself to that mortification if it meant being able to spend another second by his side. 

But then it didn’t come. 

“When we get out in the field, be careful using that stuff, okay? We’re going to need you sharp.” Klaus’ head tilted a little at the statement, before letting out a little laugh, pulling another out of the tin. This time, he held out his hand for the lighter, not sure he could handle the intimacy of Dave doing it for him. 

“Trust me, baby, I’m sharper when I’m high than when I’m sober,” Klaus nodded his thanks for the lighter, closing his eyes as he took in a breath of smoke. Absently, he made rings out into the sky, a lopsided smile on his face. That was the stuff. 

“Oh, you seem sharp now,” Dave’s tone was teasing, and Klaus smirked at it, giving him a side eye. 

“Just wait until I finish this off and I’ll kick your ass.” 

“The Cong wouldn’t wait until you’re done smoking to come after you.” 

“Lucky for you I don’t need a whole joint to get into ass kicking mode. I’m in it all day, every day.” 

Dave let out a hearty laugh, one that Klaus matched back, and it felt good. It felt so fucking good. The goodness bubbled up inside of him until he was giddy with it, reaching an arm out to shove Dave over. The man easily moved with his hand, even though he could’ve withstood the force. His arm was solid, and so was his stance, feet always shoulder width apart, but he moved all the same. All because Klaus wanted him to. 

“You sure you wanna start something?” Dave asked, grin still brilliantly spread across his features, “you seemed pretty sore after all the training today.” 

“Hey, not all of us can be big macho men like you,” he let his gaze skim over Dave’s body, barely covered by a white tank top. He didn’t move his gaze away as fast as he probably should have. If Dave was bothered by it, he didn’t mention it. 

“You’ll get there,” the statement made Klaus laugh, giggling at the idea that he would ever be more muscular than he was now, “only if you get some rest, too, though.” 

A groan escaped Klaus’ body, suddenly feeling like a toddler. He wanted to stay up and talk to Dave more, not go lay in his stupid cot next to the man, unable to reach out to him in any way. It wasn’t fair. Not that he was doing any sort of reaching out while they were out here, but at least he could get overwhelmed by the sight of his biceps. It was something. 

“Okay mom,” he conceded, practically throwing his joint on the ground, mad he didn't quite finish it all. It was hard to be angry for long though. His body was warm, and not just from the Vietnamese humidity. It was pleasant, buzzing. High off of Dave and the marujana. He would take this every night. He would deal with five hundred dead soldiers if it meant getting to spend five hundred nights with the only friend he had made in twenty nine years. He would have five thousand panic attacks if it meant ending each night with a silent walk back into their tent, words unspoken, but so clearly articulated that they were palpable in the space between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who's back back back back again


	7. Chapter 7

Klaus wasn’t sure how much longer they trained. It felt like weeks and days at the same time. Nights blended into days, and Klaus wasn’t sure which was worse. Days brought extreme heat and exhaustion, but at least he was distracted. The nights were peaceful and cooler, but so came the nightmares, and the very real ghosts surrounding him. But then again, the nights brought Dave. Dave and his caring words and soothing voice, staying up until sunrise if that was what Klaus needed. Dave and his skirting hands that would never quite land on Klaus’ own, but instead tightened into fists as they yearned to stretch out. Dave and his kindness, and his jokes, and all of his reasons for Klaus to stay here as long as he could.   
It came as a shock, then, when the company was woken up early by the shouting of one of the commanding officers. It felt like his first night all over again. The shouting was urgent. Deliberate. It told them that they had to get moving, now, or there would be consequences. Unfortunately, Klaus’ brain was still hazy from the previous night, late conversations and joints fogging his thoughts. The movement around him seemed slow and hurt his head, and he was having a hard time keeping up with the chaos. A hand landed hard on his shoulder (somehow he had sat up in bed), and it brought him closer to reality. It was Dave, standing directly in front of him, trying to get him going. Everyone else was already up and getting dressed. He was a step behind.

It was a familiar feeling. 

Suddenly, Klaus forced himself out of bed, quickly throwing on his borrowed clothes, boots, gun, and helmet, costuming himself as a soldier. Wearing Dave’s clothes helped to calm his nerves. He was modeling the best soldier that he knew. 

Soon he was scrambling out of the tent with everyone, this time actually remembering to bring his briefcase. Even though he didn’t intend on using it any time soon, there was no way of telling what his future was going to hold. That, and he knew he shouldn’t leave it unattended. Who knows what people could do with time travelling technology. Hell, he didn’t even know that it existed, and he was in on most of the world’s secrets. 

Once they were all outside, it seemed like the yelling had all been a false alarm. Everyone was standing stock still, staring ahead of them at Officer Voldemort, who was apparently the one who had woken them up. After a quick look around, it was clear that he was supposed to be standing at attention, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. He spent seventeen years of his life with a rigid back. He wasn’t about to give gratification to another self righteous asshole. Luckily, the officer didn’t seem to notice. He began barking out orders again, but all that Klaus registered was that they were heading out at sunrise. Hence them being awoken at four in the morning. The phrase that Dave had used earlier came to mind: hurry up and wait. They had all been screamed out of bed just to be told that they had approximately forty minutes to get their things in order. For most men, this forty minutes of free time meant packing their things up, writing letters to loved ones, et cetera, but for Klaus, it meant forty minutes of doing his best to get as fucked up as humanly possible. That, and find more drugs to take with him out on this little field trip. He had a feeling there weren’t going to be any available for him once they got out there. 

That was a terrifying concept, to say the least. 

Klaus followed the men back into the tent, ignoring the rest of them and their hurry to pack. Klaus didn’t exactly have that many possessions to bring with him. He wasn’t even sure that he was going to be able to bring his briefcase. How was he supposed to wade through the mud of Vietnam looking like a salesman? 

He set the briefcase back under his cot delicately when they made it back, anxiety flowing through him at the motion. This decision meant that he was really going to be staying here. There wouldn’t be any going back until they were through with this trip out into the Valley. Dave’s voice called out from behind him. He pulled his hands away from the briefcase, and turned to face him. 

Dave and O’Brien were walking down the center aisle close together, a distance that Klaus was a little jealous of. Not that he was jealous over Dave or even of O’Brien, just the fact that someone was close to Dave and it wasn’t him. Either way, he certainly wasn’t jealous of the conversation that they were having. It was clear even from where he was sitting that they were serious, something that Klaus was never any good at. At this point moving forward, though, he figured he’d have to try to get a lot better at it. 

When Dave made eye contact with him, his serious attitude wavered, small smile forming in the slots where the frown was. Even as Klaus smiled back though, he could tell that Dave was worried. Maybe even more worried than before. It made his own smile waver, and a great deal of concern flooded over him. 

“Do I have something on my face?” 

“Yeah, that hippy beard of yours,” O’Brien snarked, smacking Dave on the arm as he said it, which seemed to pull Dave out of his weird puppy eyed trance. Dave rolled his eyes at the comment, moving to grab his back from under his cot. 

“Listen, it’s a style choice, okay? I wouldn’t expect you to understand. You clearly have no fashion sense at all.” 

O’Brien looked down at himself, then at Dave, before landing back on Klaus. 

“We are wearing the same exact clothes.” 

“I’m making a choice not to wear my shirt under my vest, which is clearly much more fashionable than your whole.. shtick. You have no originality!” Klaus cried, almost wishing he had some eyeliner to reach for. He could really help with O’Brien’s, and even Dave’s, dreadful adherence to the military dress code. It made him wonder what Dave would look like with eyeliner, or even just in civilian clothes. He wished he could see it someday. 

“No,” Dave finally said, looking up from what he was packing and unpacking in his bag, “you don’t have anything on your face.” 

“See, Dave, this is why you’re my favorite,” he said, grinning at him before making a face at O’Brien, who pretended to throw a pillow at Klaus’ head. Klaus laughed, covering his face in mock terror. He looked at Dave through his fingers, peering out as if he was expecting the blow to still come. Dave’s face looked amused, but distracted, shuffling through papers that were stuffed in the front of his pack. 

“You’re just going to let O’Brien abuse me? I thought you were supposed to be keeping me under your wing,” he pouted, shooting a glare at O’Brien when he heard him snickering. His attention was easily brought back to Dave, but it didn’t seem like the man was granting him the same luxury. Klaus’ smile slipped momentarily, glancing back to O’Brien, whose expression had also changed. He was suddenly packing his own bag, shaking his head at Klaus’ questioning gaze. He never was one to take advice. “How many times are you gonna put the same letters back in your bag?” 

Dave looked up at Klaus’ question, huffing a little laugh before stuffing them deep into his bag, zipping the pocket closed. He supposed that was enough of an answer, but his reluctance to participate in a real conversation was upsetting to say the least. This was the quietest Klaus had ever seen him. This silence was much different than when his presence was enough of a conversation to fill the space between them at night. Dave’s thoughts were too loud to ignore. 

“You really should make sure you have everything you need before we head out,” Dave finally said, his voice gentle, before slinging his own pack onto his back. He grabbed his rifle as well, settling his helmet on top of his head all in one fluid motion. Dave was suddenly a soldier again. It wasn’t as if Dave ever stepped entirely out of that role, but the change in his demeanor was clear. All of the lighthearted attitude that he had been exhibiting over the past couple weeks seemed to be sapped right out of him. The sight hurt Klaus’ heart. He didn’t want to war to take that from Dave. 

It was clear that Dave was much more experienced, anyway. The way that he placed the gear on his body, moved underneath it as if it was a second skin, even after only a month here, showed Klaus how out of place he was. O’Brien was the same way, ready at the same time as Dave, without hardly any thought being put into it. They were effortless. Klaus required much more effort. He had no idea what he needed to head out. He really had no idea where they were going, or what they were going to be doing once they got there, or why they were going into the fight. That last one seemed to be a common question around camp, so he supposed it wasn’t too far out of place. The rest of it, though, that was all him. For a few moments, he simply stared into the backpack that was given to him, willing something he needed to appear inside, before Dave showed up at his side. 

“I don’t need help,” he joked, staring harder into his bag, bringing his hands up to his head, placing one finger on each temple, “I’m summoning everything I need.” Dave huffed a laugh next to him, and Klaus relaxed, hands falling to his side as he looked over at Dave with a lopsided grin. 

“Here,” Dave said, stepping even further into Klaus’ space. Klaus didn’t object. In fact, he didn’t move out of the space that Dave was now occupying, which meant he and Dave were standing with their sides pressed together, while Dave moved to sort through the things in his bag. Instead of helping, Klaus simply watched. It wasn’t like he would be much help anyway. Everything in his bag was completely foreign to him. He couldn’t help but wonder what use a full bag could be if its contents were a mystery. With a sigh, Klaus pulled his bottle of pills aimlessly out of his pocket, eyes closed as he did so. He was still riding a little something, a high of unknown origin, but it wasn’t enough. There were more men here than who just belonged to their company. Some of them were yelling, and even if it was hard to distinguish if it was just people being rowdy or cries of pain, he didn’t want to figure that out. He shook the pill bottle out onto his hand, and nothing happened. He shook it again. Nothing. Klaus’ eyes snapped open in annoyance, and he began shaking the bottle close to his face, hard and increasingly annoyed With a groan, he threw the bottle behind him, eliciting an annoyed cry from O’Brien, who it inevitably hit. 

Klaus let himself dwell in his annoyance, because if he didn’t, he would start to panic. 

Dave had stopped looking through Klaus’ bag, announcing it was zipped up and ready to go, before he noticed Klaus pouting. 

“You okay over there?” he asked, placing a hand on his shoulder and dragging him out of deep thought. 

“Oh, me? Yes, of course. I’ve never been better,” Klaus answered, dramatically waving his hands, “I just have to make a trip to see good ole Doc Jensen again before we head out of here.” 

“Do you wa-” 

“No I’m, I’m actually good,” Klaus answered quickly, even though he wanted Dave to come with him more than anything in the world. It was going to be a shit show in that tent again. The only thing that seemed to work just as well as the drugs was Dave. Yet he was still saying no to him, like a total idiot. Dave knew he abused drugs. What was the point in trying to cover it up now? It was clear that Dave was hurt. His face never hid much from Klaus. “Figured I might wanna bolster my independence a little bit. If we’re not together in the field I think I may just lose my mind.” 

It was true, but he figured that the way he said it was enough for him to hide how much he meant it under a layer of humor. That was what the big gestures were for. Who cares about what you’re saying if you’re flexing your muscles and making faces while you do it? Dave gave a little half smile at that, looking away from him. He looked flustered. Maybe as flustered as Klaus felt underneath his ever present far away smile. With a little head nod as a goodbye, Klaus started out of the tent, feeling as though he had said everything he needed to say. Mostly he wanted to get the hell out of there. It was starting to get loud, and he knew it wasn’t from the somber men around him. 

Even the grassy area between their bunks and the medical tent was full. There were shifting features all over, some standing in place, seemingly lost, other wandering about, one even following Klaus. He didn’t look back. Just because he couldn’t see it didn’t mean it wasn’t there. He knew enough by now that he could tell when he should keep his eyes forward. 

There was so much death here. He could understand why Dave was acting strange. He didn’t have to actually see the dead to know that. 

When he made it to the medical tent, it was even worse. Although it wasn’t quite as bad as the first time he was in there, it was still chocked full of death, from wall to wall. It was suffocating. He had to close his eyes and take a deep breath, trying to steady himself. He wished he had let Dave come with him. His presence would have made a big difference. There was something about him that was grounding. Without even knowing what Klaus could do, he did a better job of keeping him steady than anyone else in his life combined. Even Ben. Klaus’ eyes snapped open after a moment, and he forced himself forward. He wouldn’t let his eyes wander, keeping himself on a steady path towards the back of the tent, where he knew Jensen had escaped to the first time. That had to be where the medication was. 

Just as Klaus discovered that the cabinet where the medication was kept was locked, he heard someone behind him clear his throat. His whole body jolted, one arm flying through the air before landing on his heart. His first instinct was that this was Dave, telling him how disappointed he was that Klaus would steal medicine from an army base, but upon turning around, it was revealed that it was just Jensen. Klaus sighed heavily, laying his body weight up against the cabinet behind him. 

“Thank god, I thought you were someone who mattered,” he sighed, squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head before looking back at Jensen, who was clearly unamused with the whole situation. 

“What the fuck are you doing?” he asked, arms folded over his chest. 

“Jesus, you look like my father,” Klaus grumbled, before laughing, which seemingly only pissed Jensen off more. Klaus put his hands up placatingly, now frightened that Jensen was actually going to behave like his father. He wasn’t being outwardly scary, it was just the disappointment in his eyes. It gave him the creeps. “Come on, I think you can figure out what I was doing.” Jensen sighed, shaking his head. 

“Did you run out of pain meds already?” he asked, to which Klaus smiled sheepishly, “of course you did. Normally it takes a guy a couple months to turn into a junkie, you know. Fuckin’ new guy.” Klaus moved to the side as Jensen moved towards him, not sure why he was advancing on him. 

“Well, I’ve been a junkie since I was twelve, so. The army didn’t really have an impact on that one.” Klaus simply shrugged at the look that Jensen gave him, shit eating smile still on his face. He didn’t give a fuck what Jensen thought about him. Upon thinking about that though, he realized maybe he should be nice to the man, considering he could give him what he really wanted. Much to his surprise, Jensen pulled a set of keys out of his pocket and unlocked the cabinet. Klaus watched with bated breath as the man began to grab the contents out seemingly randomly, shoving them into the bag that he was carrying. There were all sorts of things in there, things that made Klaus feel like a kid in a candy store. Unsupervised, he could cause a great big mess. 

“If it keeps you from being dead weight on the field, I don’t give a shit what you take,” Jensen finally said, after he had finished stuffing his bag as full as it could go. Before zipping it up, he pulled a bottle out, offering it up to Klaus. Without thinking, Klaus took it, not wanting to give him even a second to change his mind. “I’m not gonna supply you all the time, though. You gotta find out where the other guys get theirs. This shit is for people with actual problems. Not junkies like you.” 

“Oh, I got problems,” Klaus grinned, opening the bottle before taking multiple pills dry. His eyes closed, smile melting into something much more relaxed. That was the stuff. Silence settled in around him. Finally. Peace. 

By the time that Klaus opened his eyes again, Jensen was gone. He was pretty relieved about that. He didn’t give a shit what the guy thought about him, but if he had to endure another disappointed look he was going to start having Reginald flashbacks again. Klaus giggled. He pictured Jensen as Reginald, begrudgingly giving him drugs just so he would shut the fuck up. Not that his dear old dad ever even noticed his drug problem. If he did, he didn’t care. 

It took Klaus a moment, but eventually he got his brain into gear again. He didn’t want to think about his father for too long, especially when there were other fun things to think about. He wondered if anyone had noticed that he was gone. He figured not. But then again, sometimes these guys seemed to actually care about him. Maybe. Just as that thought was crossing his mind, the drape in front of him swung open, sending Klaus flying backwards in shock. Again. 

“Christ on a cracker! Does anyone knock around here?” Klaus exclaimed, shoving his face in his hands, trying to get his heart to stop racing. Everything was spinning. He felt light and heavy and afraid and content all at once, and it was wonderful, but also terrifying. He loved it. 

“We’re almost ready to go. Get your ass moving.” 

Klaus waved his hand at O’Brien weakly, before letting his hands run down his face slowly, pulling at his skin as he did so. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea before getting into a helicopter. Whatever. It’s not like he had ever made any good decisions before. Plus, he didn’t think he could force himself to get into that thing while sober. There was no way. At least Ben wasn’t here. It would’ve made the situation much worse. 

After an indiscriminate amount of time, O’Brien finally got Klaus to get moving. It took a bit to get Klaus’ brain in gear, but once he was walking, he was grateful for the fogginess that was hovering over him. The yard that had been filled with dead and dying men just moments before was clear. There were no voices hollering at him, no one pleading with him to save them, no guts or gore to stain his eyes. It was sweet blissful relief, and he didn’t think about how long this was going to last, or how much worse it was going to be later. He just enjoyed it. 

And he enjoyed it even more when they got back to the bunks, as soon as his eyes fell on Dave. His whole body relaxed, if it wasn’t already before, and he couldn’t help the sigh that came from him. His filter was even less restricted now, and he had already had a hard enough time keeping all of his thoughts in up until this point. O’Brien gave him a look that Klaus missed, and he didn’t let it bother him. It could’ve been a smile, but it also could have been a glare. It didn’t matter, because Dave was there, talking to the few men that were left in the tent. Just then, Klaus realized how long he had really been in the medical tent, and it was pretty much time to leave. Before he knew it, Klaus was at the bed, stopping to look down at his bag for much longer than necessary. 

“Found him,” O’Brien announced. Klaus heard Dave stop talking to the people around him, and he turned to face him instead of putting his bag on his back. 

The look that Dave shot him was not the one he was expecting. 

Klaus’ eyebrows furrowed, shooting a gaze at O’Brien to look for some help, but the man was already headed out of the tent. The two of them seemed to have a hive mind. Whatever Dave was getting ready to say, O’Brien didn’t want to stick around for it. 

“I’m sorry, am I in trouble?” Klaus asked, turning around to put his bag on, unable to withstand Dave’s intense glare any longer. 

“No, no, I-” Dave cut himself off, and this time when Klaus looked at him, he was much less intense. Much less angry. Much more concerned. “You can’t do that. Okay?” 

Klaus scoffed. That hurt. Why would Dave lie about not caring what he did? What was the point in making him think that he was accepted when he was really just going to scold him for it? He crossed his arms over his chest, trying to hide how upset he was behind annoyance. 

“Oh, so now you’re going to tell me what I can and can’t do? Really?” Klaus was close to telling Dave he could go fuck himself and jumping back into the briefcase. So much for going to war for this guy. For getting into a helicopter for him. 

“Klaus, you were gone for thirty minutes! Do you have any idea how.. How worried I was?” Klaus’ eyes narrowed, and his position relaxed. So this.. Wasn’t about him being high. Strange. “If you do that in the field.. I can’t look out for you all the time. I’ll try to, I swear to God I’ll do my best but fuck, Klaus-” 

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry. I really am. I just thought you were…” Klaus trailed off, giving a slight laugh at the absurdity of it, “I was expecting a lecture. Not for you to actually care.” Dave frowned, and Klaus was pretty sure his hands were shaking when he ran a hand through his curls. 

“Well I… I do. I care.” 

O’Brien wasn’t lying, at least. 

Klaus’ heart hurt in his chest. Who was this guy? Did he drop straight out of heaven? There was no way he wasn’t an angel. He was about to ask him if he was one, before he realized that was a really terrible idea. Maybe later, after they went on a scary helicopter ride together, where Dave definitely could throw him out if he really didn’t like Klaus asking him things like that. Anyway, he didn’t have time to speak, because Dave was at it again. 

“I know you’re inexperienced. You don’t know what can happen out there. You can’t wander off. It’s not because I don’t trust you,” Klaus almost laughed, no one trusted him, “it’s just because-” Dave stopped himself. It looked like he’d seen a ghost, and Klaus knew what that looked like. “I’ve seen what can happen. I don’t want that to happen to you.” Dave paused. “To anyone.” Klaus nodded, hesitating before reaching out to Dave. He grabbed his arm on it’s way back down to his side, hesitantly holding onto his wrist. 

“I’ll do my best not to die,” Klaus said seriously, before breaking out in a wide smile, one that Dave matched. There seemed to be uncertainty clinging onto Dave’s expression, but he didn’t try to pull away, and after Klaus let go, his arm seemed to hang in the space between them. Klaus would take that as a good sign. At least he knew that some physical contact was okay for now. Just the small touch was enough to make Klaus feel weightless. It could have been the drugs that made him feel that way, but he was pretty sure it was Dave. It was always Dave. It would always be Dave. 

Dave laughed, and it was a wonderful noise. Klaus wanted him to do that forever. Gently, Dave clasped him on the shoulder, and began to drag him out of the tent. In that instant, Klaus knew he would follow Dave anywhere.


End file.
